Let me delve into current events a bit.

I entitled this site “Socially Misfitted” because 1) it was available & 2) it kind of described the type of entries and writing I wanted to include here, at least from time to time. 

I feel so misfitted to our present society in America, so unimpressed and often downright disgusted by where the culture has gone and what it produces these days.  Age?  Yeah, okay.

Abortion?  Legalized, protected, and done.  What would the sound of 57 million crying babies sound like?

Affordable housing?  Implemented in the 1990’s with its chickens finally coming home to roost in 2008.

Welfare?  I hear that almost half the country is on some sort of it, maybe more, I lost count. 

Taxes?  Half the country doesn’t pay any (wonder if it’s the same 50% as above?).  The top 10% of wage earners pay something like 80%.  Why don’t I know the exact numbers?  Not sure anyone really does so I’ll round off what I remember but I do know that they continue to grow and grow in the wrong direction. 

When the needs of the takers outgrow the resources of the givers what do you think will happen? 

Music?  Songs about rape and murder and offing cops and knockin’ down the crackers and dissin the hos…  Yeah, those are all good messages that the youth of America can use for inspiration.  Despicable.

Movies?  Hollywood hypocrisy, simply put.  How dare those who spend their entire lives in pretendland try to tell me what to do.  Perhaps they could move Hollywood and all those wonderfully liberal and super-intelligent folks to a place they like to promote, somewhere deep in IslamLand- maybe Tehran.  Let’s see what movies they would produce then.

TV?  Is there a normal family with a regular, stable and guiding father figure on television anymore?  I understand that there are many types of families out there but when did it become necessary to move a normal family with a non-idiot dad completely off the air?  Probably just ratings eh?  Must be what most of us want, or don’t want.  The Simpsons are funny and the show is well-written but it hasn’t done much to teach my kids respect for me.  Lots of examples like that folks whether you accept that or not.

Dress & personal upkeep?  Been to a supermarket or Walmart lately?  When did so many Americans get so fat, decide to always go to the store in pajamas, and adorn their entire bodies with tattoos and body piercings?  When did able-bodied folks with necessary means just decide to let their homes look like hell?  When did slobbery come into vogue?  Sorry again but it’s rather pitiful when you just sit back and observe.  Drive around, walk around, look around- you’ll be amazed at what you might see.

Manners?  Simple courtesies seem more and more a thing of the past.  When my kids hold a door open for an older person they get a rather surprised look and a heartfelt thank you.  When they do the same for younger people they typically get a not-too-friendly look and rarely a thank you.  Am I alone in believing that having more people practice and teach good manners and random acts of kindness might just help make us all slightly better human beings?  Maybe…

Gay marriage and general sexual mores?  You don’t have a right to an opinion on either.  Just shut up and accept whatever is promoted as being acceptable.

Healthcare?  It’s become a natural right somehow when the real reason it is being pursued is as a means for more control over all of us.  Go ahead, think differently, but try to smile as the noose tightens.  And it will.

And then there is Pajama Boy.  And he is not my son, thank God.

He is just another control point for the government. 

They have the elderly covered with Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid; they have our very youngest covered with aid programs for the increasingly number of unwed mothers and they are fairly well entrenched with federally-dictated school requirements; they continue to more actively control what we are allowed to eat; regulations regarding our activities and businesses become more pervasive with each passing year; taxes eat away at those not quite poor enough or not quite rich enough to somehow escape them; what used to be the “anti-Man” indoctrinations in our higher institutions of so-called learning are now “pro-BigBro” in terms of how they support and promote more government control, being consistent only in the fact that they are still lightly cloaked as indoctrinations; and who owes who when it comes down to young people getting the money to attend these way overpriced institutions and receive increasingly useless degrees; free speech is no longer allowed unless it is pre-approved by a lot of so-called concerns; “isms” have been way overplayed but still serve to keep the herd in control; and in order to extend control further let’s keep our kids on our health policies until they are well into adulthood (why not 30 or older?) and let’s draw it up and present it in mock Rockwellian fashion as warm and comfy Pajama Boy.

Wise up America; wise up and rise up.  And teach your children well…while you still can, while you are still allowed to…sort of…

How often in life we say that it is only “a month until”, or “a week until”, or “just a day until”…  And it seems sometimes to take forever to finally get here but then just a flash of time until it is gone.

It is only a week until Christmas.

What have you accomplished this past year?  Are you ready for the holidays?  Do you celebrate the birth of Jesus of Nazareth or do you simply exchange gifts, eat food, and watch sports on TV?  Or maybe you watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “A Christmas Story”.  Both are wonderful movies and I don’t recall that either mentions the birth of Christ- isn’t that the reason for the season, the event and moment Christmas is supposed to commemorate?

Even “A Charlie Brown Christmas” talks of Jesus and the event of his birth.

It has been, what now, 25 years since I have spoken with my long-ago brother and almost 13 years since my long-ago sister and I have had contact.  My other sister and I are still somewhat close.  She has no contact with either of the other two either.  Our parents are long ago deceased.

I hope that wherever the other two are that they have a wonderful Christmas and, maybe for just a moment, remember some happy event we all shared from long ago.  Those seemingly wonderful and forever Christmastimes we had on the far south side of Chicago; when we had a real tree, not very many presents, but what we received always seemed so wonderful to us; when we walked through the cold and maybe the snow to celebrate Christmas mass at St. Catherine’s.  I do remember the walks and I do remember the feeling in church and the hymns, those wonderfully moving Christmas hymns.  And the walk home to breakfast and presents.

Those memories linger with me but fade.  Sometimes they flash back from somewhere deep within an aging memory.  They always make me feel good and are always most welcome.  Please come by and stay awhile.

I remember putting out reindeer dust for my niece but never did that for my own kids- why not?

I remember putting out cookies for Santa and carrots for his reindeer from my own kids- and the letters to and from Santa.  Who ate the cookies?  Who ate the carrots?

I remember traveling back north from Florida at Christmas- it sure felt like the season, in contrast.

I remember the first Christmas with my boys and the first, now longer ago, with my wife.

I remember midnight mass with my long-ago sister and her family.  I hear she’s divorced now.

I remember going to get the real tree with my dad and long-ago brother.  We walked to the lot and returned with a tree resting partly in my Hi-Low Flyer wagon.  It always seemed to be snowing at Christmastime back then.  My mom and sisters stayed home and prepared the small living room for the tree.

I remember watching Charlie Brown with my dad when I was a kid; and with my kids now that I am a dad.

I don’t especially remember my mom’s last Christmas- we did not know she was going to die but she knew it.  I wonder if she knew it would be her last…

I remember putting up icicle lights on the house, as a dad, in the snow, in the cold.  Those ladders could be dangerous.

I remember the Christmas flood in my grandmother’s basement when I was a teen.  All that fast-melting snow..

Still as a teen, I remember putting tinsel on the tree while listening to “Midnight Rider” on the radio.

I remember sneaking out to the tree when I was a kid to see if that distinctive cylindrical package, the one my favorite building blocks came in, was there under the tree.  I think I got a hand-me-down gift or two- we were not well-off people but had a lot nevertheless.

I remember when my boys were younger my wife and I would wake up to the sound of them whispering out on the catwalk as they stared down at the tree and marveled at what Santa had left there.  I hope I always remember their little, excited voices.

I remember believing in Santa and I remember my boys doing so as well.  None of us do anymore.

I remember serving Christmas mass.  And the bells and the celebration.

I remember the Christmas parties with my co-workers in Florida.  Plantation much more than Boynton and definitely more than up here in Libertyville.

I remember driving up to Illinois with my girlfriend at the time- we went through a few minor blizzards both up and back.  Tricky driving in Indiana.

I remember decorating with my sisters at my grandmother’s house where we lived.  Hanging the cards and the “Noel Bell” and wrapping those little fake presents for that little sleigh.

I remember getting off the city bus at Western Avenue to meet my long-ago sister so we could go the long-ago mall and do some long-ago Christmas shopping.

I remember being one of the last ones out of my dorm to head home for Christmas.  I was waiting for my long-ago sister who was working at the time.

I remember doing laundry in that Laundromat at Christmas.

I remember shopping at the art supply store on Western Avenue for art supplies for my dad.

I remember the Christmas play at St. Catherine’s but do not remember if I was ever in it.  Probably was.  I remember the nativity scene to the right and in front of the church and all those huge, beautiful poinsettias within.

I remember buying a 45 record of a love song for my first real girlfriend.  Gulp.

I remember going downtown on the train with my grandmother and having lunch in the Walnut Room at Field’s at the base of their huge and beautiful tree.  And Wimpy’s of course.

I remember Dennis and going out to cut down and bring home that huge tree to my grandmother’s.  My dad really joked about that with us.  It took us so long to cut it down.

I guess I could go on but I won’t.  Seems that the more I recall the more I remember and most of those memories are very good ones.  I am saddened of course that many were so long ago and that many of the people are no longer around but, still, I was able to have the moment or moments and I am still able to recall…

So it is a week until Christmas and I am not really ready yet but I hope that it will come and perhaps stay awhile and bring moments that may one day down the road turn themselves into pleasant memories.

Darkness persists this early, early morn.  It is black through my windows and somewhat gray in my heart, this morn, this early, early morn. 

This house is quiet for now and the Christmas tree unlit and in slumber.  The kids, the wife, the dogs- they all still slumber.  It is still and it is dark this early, early morn.

Sometimes it seems that not much you do turns out right, have you ever felt that way?  No matter how you spin it, turn it, approach it, prepare, wish, hope, or dream it just seems to not go the way that you had planned.  Do you know what I mean?

I suppose that I expect too much from people, especially my family.  I have accomplished some things in life but not anywhere near what I think I could have had I been directed or even pushed a bit more.  I don’t really blame anyone for that other than myself. 

I try to change, I try to get things done that I have never done but time and age seem set against me.  I am sometimes too set in my ways I fear and too weak to break out.  How many good years do I even have left?  Could be a few (or even less) or could be many more than a few. 

I am tired this dark and early morn.  I did not sleep well and I am tired but trying to write something here. 

It is Tuesday and Christmas is in just over a week.  When was the last time that I felt really in a good Christmas mood?  Sometimes I even feel like I somehow missed those early Christmastimes with my kids.  Maybe I was just too old or just too disconnected.

Even the birth of Jesus does not brighten my heart.

So many are no longer in our lives.  Not departed from this earth but departed nonetheless.  Where have you all gone?  What happened? 

There are so very few Christmas cards anymore and we had so many when I was young.  Hung them all around the trimwork at my grandmother’s house.  Maybe we re-used a few.  Maybe we did that.

Why does time run against us?  It just doesn’t stop.  Even now as I stare out into the darkness of this early morn, within the quiet of this slumbering house, I realize that the darkness will begin to fade with the flowing time of the morning. 

Darkness will not persist and the light will follow but it, too, will not last forever.

“You know the day destroys the night, night divides the day; try to run, try to hide, break on through to the other side, break on through to the other side…”

She was young once.  She was young and beautiful and likely loved and desired by one or even more.  And she was bright and beautiful and her face shone with brightness, inviting all to smile in return.  Life had come to her and blessed her in many ways that grew brighter with time.

But then time brought the darkness and life faded away until she was bright and beautiful no longer.  Just a memory.

And even that fades and sinks into time.

Why is it that some (most?) people in power, no matter how they gained that power, eventually begin to feel as if that power, their own particular position, is unassailable?  They become as those who in knowing me least act as if they know me best.

It is often the parent who will not listen; or the teacher who will not be questioned; or the law enforcement officer who will give no quarter; or the state official at the DMV who targets his power toward the poor and simple wretches awaiting his most-welcomed nod to move on to the next of many lines; or the coach who tells everyone he is there for the kids and then manages to keep a number of them on the bench as he seeks that much-needed victory over another team of 9-year olds;  maybe it’s the abusive spouse who leverages his or her own power, however manifested, to gain control of all within their small but totally controlled worlds; or maybe the boss who cares not about what is best for his underlings but, rather, manages to claim all of their own individual efforts and achievements as his own in his own concerted effort to usurp the power of the one above him; or the aggressive, oversized 10 year old who discovers that if he presses his will with a threat of some act, violent or otherwise, can gain all he desires with his classmates and who has his behavior excused by his parents and often as well his teachers because he is a child with a difficult past or has special circumstances that need to be considered; or the knowledgeable auto mechanic who utilizes that knowledge against the lack of such in his customers so that he can perform maintenance or repairs that are not needed or warranted; or the preacher who will tell you in no uncertain terms all that you are doing that is bad and also what you must be doing to be good and gain access to the final kingdom, that you cannot take your material goods with you when you go so you might as well leave them with him and his church, giving up what he has defined as your fair share, so that they, and especially he, can better help others; could also be the tax man who has set all the rules so that they cannot be understood, has set the tax rates so that they serve to cripple personal financial advancement, and holds the arbitrary ability to audit at will anyone at any time without much if any justification; or the principal who punishes the poor child who was only responding to the constant provocations of another, who treats the perpetrator as the victim and the victim as the one to be punished, just to make things fair; or the big brother who defends his little brother against others when he feels it necessary but who still reserves the right to pummel the helpless lad whenever he so chooses; or the college admissions administrator who holds sway over who gets in and who does not and has at her disposal a plethora of approved justifications, disguised as fair policy, for a particular acception or rejection; or the man who decides to stop delivering my mail or picking up my trash, or the company who decides to stop providing power or natural gas to my home, or the dog who chases the cat who stalks the bird who attacks the mouse who is just simply trying to get along.

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s a government who decides that they know best what is best for me in just about every aspect of my life. And, in addition, all that comes before and all that comes after.

Day by day my friends your personal freedoms are becoming a good bit less of each, of both.

To answer yesterday’s musing I would say that, no, pessimism does not rule me.  It merely pervades me and seeks a permanent home.

Sorry pessimism- I cannot be ruled, least of all by you.

I don’t worry so much for myself, really.  I have had a lot of years on this planet and most of them have been good ones, some even great.  I owe so much to so many; I owe so much to this country.  And I wish I could repay it, I really want to do that.

Just pay more taxes.

Okay, do you really think that helps?  No more so than giving a drink to a drunkard.  You know that’s true.

More money hasn’t helped education.  It hasn’t helped reduce poverty.  It hasn’t helped to erase the animosity between the races.  Perhaps it has helped in our national defense and against terrorist attacks here at home.  They say it will help in the care of our health- only with the end result of better, more accessible care and more and better doctors.  Think that will be happening?

No, I think that more money only leads to the need for more of the same.  Where does it go?  Where do you think?

If you are, well, what’s the right, proper word- oh yeah, stupid; if you are stupid enough to believe that it goes to where they tell you it goes then you are also likely to overdraw regularly on your checking account; hold a high balance on your credit cards; give money to anyone holding an old, gross piece of cardboard; give gobs of money to your church just because they tell you that you should; send a lot of donation dollars out of your own country (who sends it here to us?); and you also are likely to lend blindly and often to relatives and friends who will never pay you back.

Okay, maybe stupid is harsh.  Maybe it’s just more naiveté.  Okay, maybe it’s all either, some of each or some of both.  If this is the way you want to handle your own finances, fine.  But please make sure it doesn’t have an affect on me and especially not on my family.  And don’t ever tell me what my fair share is unless it’s a family matter.  You just don’t have that right- how dare you.

I don’t worry so much for me as I said as I do for the youth of our country- my kids and their friends.

Just as we never imagined we would suffer the responsibilities placed upon us by our grandparents (social security for example), or parents (Medicare, Medicaid), or even ourselves (bailouts and stimulus and social programs and healthcare)- we were not wise enough to wake up in time- so too are you young folks likely to ignore it as well.

But the heaviest weighted end of this load will not fall to us- it will fall to you my young friends.  And maybe that isn’t fair since you didn’t directly approve of any of this or maybe you “just didn’t realize.”  Sorry, those are excuses that, while true perhaps, will not serve any purpose in the future, in YOUR future.  Ignorance is not bliss and it is certainly no longer a valid excuse if you want to survive.

The only power you have is with whom you put into elected office when you vote- and you should vote and know who and what you are voting for, without fail and without excuse.  You need to wake up and wise up.

And then you need to rise up and be heard.  Yours can be the greatest generation and, actually, it needs to be because ours, certainly, has not been that.

For that I am truly and forever sorry.  We have no excuse for what we have done or allowed to be done to us, none at all.

Okay, okay, so a good bit of what I write sounds negative.  You may see it as negative but I see it more as being critical, as being vigilant and being wary of what lies ahead.  Not nearly so much for me, though I would be lying if I said that worries for me and my wife do not figure into these myriad concerns, but much more so for my kids…and as well for their friends and their generation.

We aren’t headed in a good direction folks.  Period.

We have a mountain of debt and, worse still, no plan to deal with that.  Have you had any relatives or friends who were in that same situation?  How did it work out?  Maybe they filed bankruptcy and laid the problem elsewhere, escaping responsibility yet again.  Think an entire country can do the same?  Hah.

Our culture continues to slide away from fundamentally solid virtues.  True dat.  Music, movies, social mores and manners, video games, internet content, and more still.  Yes, some of that opinion comes with age.  But, still, even if I were still just out of my teens, I would feel that a lot of what confronts us on a daily basis is or should be very concerning.  Many societies have unraveled right along with their moral and social fabrics.  It’s true, you can look it up.

Our politicians, all of them, grow seemingly more and more distant and separated from the rest of us.  What is good for us is seldom, if ever, good for them as well.  That also has historical equivalents that you can research if you care to do so.  Ever heard of Chicago?  Or, wait, ever heard of Detroit?

Gaps continue to grow- between rich and poor, black and white, young and old, Democrat and Republican, city and state, state and federal, men and women, citizen and immigrant (illegal or not)…  Why are there so many dividers and so few uniters out there these days?

We get more and more lazy and ambivalent with each passing year.

Our schools continue to underperform and blame it on a lack of funds that even when given, which they really have been and in an enormous amount, do not wind up going directly toward actual teaching and learning, not into helping our kids and schools to improve and our country as a final result.

Our churches grow more empty as their call or demand for money to worship grows.  If it just takes tithing to get to heaven just let me know the final bill and I will pay it directly to the Lord.  I can pay by card, check or cash.  Not sure if He takes PayPal but the churches probably do.

Our youth seem to be less informed as to the real problems and the real truths than ever before but, again, maybe that is just age speaking.  Ever talk to them?

We enjoy safety and privacy less and less as our societies crumble and our government and its supervisory power grows.  Each and every day.  Deny that as well?

I could go on.  You could as well.

On the whole are we better off?  Those who want to continue to change things in a very left or liberal, if you will, direction say no and use that as an excuse to continue to drive for change in that very direction.  They do this because they do not realize what they are doing- this has been said.  Those of us on the other side may realize but then do nothing.

We are Americans, we live in America, and so many out there have never been exposed to anything less than a safe and insulated existence.  Perhaps locked forever at university or maybe in the basement of the house where they grew up- and never plan to leave.

Security blankets.  Once they are provided they are extremely difficult to take away.  And those who have them will not slowly feel their removal but more likely will one day face total shock and disbelief when they are abruptly yanked away.  Ever had a kid with a blankey?

Wake up America.  Wake up and rise up and stand for what is good and pure and right.  We were not formed to come to this point.  I will never believe that.  We were formed for far better things.  Things got a bit hijacked along the way.

Do you disagree?  Are we in a good place or headed in the right direction?  Yes?  Really?  You really believe that?  Wow.

Guess it’s hard to see with that blanket pulled over your head.