Momentation

Personal No Comments

 

He was asked “where have you been?” to which he answered, rather simply if not naively, “right here, all the time.”

Such is what is- as it is, as it was, and, I suppose, as it was always meant to be. And once meant to be it can be nothing else whatsoever. Time is, after all, destiny.

I never left, I just took a leave. There are those who may have left and I have known any number of them. Family, friends, co-workers, mild acquaintances, have all taken leave of me as I have done in return of them. And no one mourns the loss of the other it would seem.

Still there are times…and destinies.

Funny how moments and lives can turn on single point and wind up somewhere other than where they were going, intended or not. And sometimes we see it but far too often I believe that we do not; never have and never will.

What happened when you took that different route to work last month? Or, even more vexing, what did not? Did you save time or did you avoid death? What else changed for you and what else was changed for others?

I once allowed a lady to cut in line at a deli- she seemed to be in such a rush. She was young and rather attractive and was there with a friend. I heard them talking. She was complaining that she had turned thirty and was no closer to being married and having a family than she had ever been. Maybe even farther from it. She thanked me for my kindness again before leaving but perhaps she shouldn’t have. Had she been delayed by the few minutes that my kindness had allowed her to save she would have bumped into a young man who had been destined to be her lifelong soulmate, if only they had met. My kindness had cost them both and they went on to live rather nondescript and somewhat miserable lives.

Or so I am told. It made me stop being kind and courteous to people but perhaps that has cost even more. Perhaps.

Tomorrow is promised to no one it has been said. True but what does it really mean? The next minute, the next hour, the rising of the sun and the turn of a friendly card are also promised to no one but still they happen, to someone, somewhere, sometime. Maybe just not to you or me or to anyone we know.

There is always a reason to have hope I believe. So many good moments burst forth at the least expected times and places.

So keep on keepin’ on and don’t worry where I’ve been- or where you are or even hope to be.

It’s good to have a dream so go and follow yours. And if you don’t have one then perhaps you can find your own or share another until the day that you do.

Destiny may exist but I doubt we’ll ever be able to prove it much.

No History of Time

Observations No Comments

 

Stephen Hawking would indeed be proud, if not few.

Selective memory is a wonderful convenience of childhood and a convenient contrivance of those to the left of liberal.

Did I just say that? Must have been taken out of context. I meant re-engineered and redistributed memory.

Silly me.

How does time treat history when the murder is complete? Oh yeah, the perpetrator replaces the victim and the victim vanishes in time. All that sympathy and protection that might have originally and foolishly been wasted on the deceased as opposed to that poor murderous soul which is still here with us must be properly distributed to him that have none.. Forgive and forget. Especially forget.

After the fence is vaulted, skirted, gone under, or just plain ignored what is one to do when another is caught illegally on one’s property? Why, one must accept and forgive of course, Seat him at your table and feed him all your food. Clothe him, shelter him, provide for him. Buy him a video gaming system and all the games he desires; provide for him a phone and gladly pay the service; add him to your insurance policy and happily accept the additional premiums; allow him to take your nice, classic, vintage American muscle car pretty much anywhere he wants to drive it and treat it anyway he wants to treat it; pay that insurance as well…well maybe; cut your voter’s card in half and sign his piece over to him; he has a flag…by all means allow him to fly it even if you have to take your own down to make room; if he desires to sleep with your daughter or wife or even your son welcome that as sign of affection, allow him to do it even if they protest; do not require or even ask him to share in the load of your daily chores as that would be considered unfriendly; welcome him with the most open of arms and when he sends for others to join him simply make more room and work harder to provide for them in the same fashion. And when the food and money have run out, leaving nothing of value behind, do not seek to blame. He and his people are the victims and the fact that you could not provide, could not accept even more into your home, makes you responsible, makes you the evil one. Shame, shame on you.

When you see your neighbor has succeeded in life through hard work, much effort, and even perhaps a bit of that unfair luck that will sometimes accompany such heathens while you have remained behind even though you have done your very best to do nothing at all do not be jealous, do not take blame for it is through his selfish transgressions that you have been treated so very unfairly. You are the victim and he is the one who has brought about your situation so therefore it must be him who is to make restitution for all that ails you. That is just his fair share as one of the guilty.

If your team loses it is not because you have failed or done wrong, it is simply because it was unfair of the other team to be good enough to defeat you. Relax, they will not be rewarded any more than you. You will both get a trophy only yours will be nicer and larger to recognize the extreme effort you put forth in failing to win.

My child is not my problem. I did not raise him to live under the unfair and unjust expectations and restrictions placed upon him by a free and responsible society. You must change the rules to align with what I taught and what he now preaches. This is only fair.

This joint only makes me smarter and more productive.

That country will cease its terrorist activities if we simply treat them kinder and give them more money and weapons. This is simply for its own protection. This hand would never be harmed by the mouth that it now feeds. You must allow them all to reap before they sow.

Do nothing and gain the world. Do something and watch it go away.

We don’t need no damned cops. They only make crime worse. Folks should be allowed to police themselves like it is done in those very successful societies where it is done. Hard to kill yourself when you bust you eh?

Eve of destruction for those everyday people.

And on and on.

No one pays for nothing anymore. Don’t need to earn nothing just need to spend something. I need I take; you have you give. And it lasts forever in our utopia bro.

Silence is a notion that I have heard for far too long now. It deafens me.

But keep on keepin’ on. Keep on truckin’. This ride never ends- not for me anyhow.

Get fatter and smoke pot. I’ll pay your bills when the doctor comes a-callin’. Oh yeah, they don’t make house calls no more. No matter. I’ll pay your bus fare there and make sure you have a couple of nice, big brownies for the ride.

What comes after has no bearing on what came before. And vice versa. There is no victim until the crime has been committed. Um, I mean there is no victim until the perp has been apprehended and sent to society to enjoy his fair and just reward for being victimized by that very society. We owe him so much and more.

In fact, here you go. Just go do the crime and then turn yourself in for the benefits. No cops needed in the process. We’ll keep the judges for now to give them something to do. They can decide how long you will be rewarded until the Perpetual Perpetration Pact is signed into law. Finally.

What came before don’t matter until the victim we choose falls out of the mix. Who gets killed, what gets violated, which laws are broken, really don’t have any impact on what comes after.

Let them decide.

And here I was thinking slavery had died.

 

Opulescence

Commentary Political No Comments

 

All that glitters may be gold. Or it may be any one of a number of the “leaders” of our beloved country. Or them that wants to be.

Does gold tarnish?

Why are there no longer plain men or women who run for president? They may lack the experience or even the refined knowledge (is that worth much by the way?) but they may actually have the conviction and the willingness to do something about all this.

As the clock ticks the debt grows- and the distance that we place between now and our origins and the intended purpose of our Constitution. Even in the presence of such mass-full statesmen I don’t think light would bend enough to let us see back around those corners.

What you hiding back there sir?

They don’t really want to fix anything- did you actually think they do? What caused all that?

The status quo is to maintain the status quo and as they are convincing you that the gap between them that have and them that don’t is widening ever faster they do so within the full knowledge that they are at the leading edge. They don’t hang around those trailing edges where the rest of us rest…and bleed.

The only thing that hypocrisy co-exists well with is ignorance. Ignore and pretend they are working for you since they were elected by and put in place by you.

Right? C’mon, say it. Confess at least to yourself that it’s true.

From the top of a steep hill try to catch or stop the ball you just sent rolling down it, either side; at best you won’t fall and break your friggin’ neck; at worst you will.

The beauty of all of this American Dream stuff is that we are still free to change things. It’s still within our power, even the ignorant may come to understand, to take charge and stop all this.

If you disagree I would ask what is really good as of late.

Increasing the minimum wage? Great way to put smaller businesses out of business and workers out of work.

Obamacare? Oh yeah that was a great solution…can you tell me why again and back it up with anything that comes with a smidgen of truth or one of data?

Gay marriage? Good, it’s great and none of us should have any other opinion whatsoever so just shut up. Just shut up and see what’s next.

Race relations? Obama sure has improved things on that front. I’m feeling like it’s the late 60’s all over again only now the shit can happen anywhere at any time and for any contrived reason.

International standing? We could not be more respected and loved. Hell we give in on everything our enemies want so what’s not to love?

Domestic security? The best way to be safe is to leave your front door wide open. May as well include all the other windows and doors. This is what we all do at night…right?

Social security? Who the hell wants to work anyway? Just take all the free stuff and let the other non-working guys pay for it..(after the wealthy have emptied their treasure chests). That is sustainable, just ask Europe but try to do so before it is covered in Islam.

War on women? Damn right! Conservatives hate women and want to get rid of them forever, didn’t you know that? Hell, even mom and sis ain’t safe from the C word.

Abortion? No, it’s women’s health. To hell with the baby, it ain’t no human bein’…

Terrorism? Time to crack down on all those old, Muslim-fearing, black-hating, woman-persecuting, white Christian bomb-throwers. Only in that way the world would be peaceful and once again so safe. Bad, bad white man!

Employment? Let all the illegal immigrants take all the lower-end jobs that the experts say Americans won’t do but always have done in the past. They don’t need jobs when they got big daddy sugar man. Just cost you a vote.

When the government becomes the plantation and the people become the slaves where is one to turn?

The biggest difference between the slaves back then and all us slaves now is that a slave then wanted to be freed, wanted to do for himself. And there were folks around who wanted to help him get to that. And they did, even died in the process

Where are the cries form the enslaved today and where are the folk that want to do something about it all?

Where is Father Abraham?

I have become…

Commentary No Comments

 

I knew a man once who knew nothing at all and I believed him to be stupid and ignorant and could not understand why he never seemed to get smarter or learn much about anything. You could engage him in a conversation if you had .an enormous amount of patience and a humanitarian bent to offer food to the starving only to see them stash it away for later.

Or maybe they sold it and bought some booze. Numbs and then kills ya much quicker.

“Will work for food…” Ah, yes, but money is much more readily available to give, eh wot guvnor?

Only advice ever seems to be in greater abundance.

Read your Chesterton? Read your Wolfe? Read your Chaucer, Yeats, or even Clancy?

What’d you learn? Oh, you didn’t read them.

How about your New York Times or U.S.A. Today? They always have the straight scoop.

Oh, no money to buy or time to read I guess huh?

Watch the news? Consider any deep analysis on any important topics or issues of the day, this day, OUR day? Hell, any day?

Maybe just a glance at the barbershop or airport I suppose.

The first 10 times I would try to teach my kids something they would respond, when it was discovered that the thing had gone undone that “I didn’t know”. Each time I would go through it again and make them confirm that they understood and had no questions. And each time was followed by “I didn’t know”. Such a juvenile cycle.

It would seem to me to be hard to learn so much and know so little.   The amount of stuff you “didn’t know” would have to overburden just about any brain. Even remembering to not know what you should know would seem a very hard task when applied with such a broad life brush.

Too little and too darn late I think.

So you never know and you never plan to know. Do I have that down correctly?

I’ll just bet you would know to run from a hungry lion wouldn’t you?

I’ll just bet you would know to run toward a bunch of twenty dollar bills blowing around on the pavement wouldn’t you?

I’ll just bet you would know to take your hand out of that flame now, yes?

And wouldn’t you know not to piss into the wind; and not to go outside naked in the cold winter; and not to wipe your ass when you need to; and not to not pay your taxes because if you don’t you will just disappear somewhere; and not to ram your car into a tree at high speed; and certainly not to light a match when you smell gas; and not to jump out of an airplane; and not to piss off your spouse when he or she is holding a knife; and definitely not to use the toaster in the shower; and not to try to read in the dark if you tried to read at all; and not to jump out of a speeding boat when you know you can’t swim; and not to stick your hand into a hornet’s nest; and not to sharpen the blades on your mower when it was running; and, well, and and and….not to always just simply say “I didn’t know”??

So if I got that straight it seems that you are smart enough to know some very important things but really claim to not know some things that may be the undoing of us all in the end.

No matter whether it is to know to or know not to- I had always figured you to be a bit smarter than all that.

Maybe I should throw in with your lot and just ignore all that is happening with our once-great country.

Maybe I should get started not knowing and then I, too, can simply be …comfortably dumb.

Just like you.

Crapiscool

Jibberish No Comments

 

A long time ago it was too late. And now it is merely later.

We are still here…are we?

Time was when time was something you could count on- it may be for you or it may be against you but you could count on it alltheless.

Cold coffee and old cigarettes used to be the marching orders and all, along with a good clock, that was needed to let you know how long it had been since you had finally gotten a good night’s sleep. And often it was far too many butts, and cups, and hours ago.

So you’d just have another cup and find another smokeable butt and drink the one while flaming up the other and looking to see when the clock had finally reached the end.

All else failed but this did not. It was more reliable than the seasons, and just about as accurate. But still it was there, right along with you.

And the music. Don’t ever forget the music.

So it was. The coffee, the smokes, the music and the clock on the kitchen wall.

And the sounds of the outside world. Sometimes before the sun and sometimes after but always right in between.

It’s hard to ignore the sun and the sounds of the outside world unless you really want to. Then maybe it’s not so hard but maybe it should have been.

So if you watched the clock and then reached the point where the coffee had all been drunk and the cigarettes had all been smoked then you could take note of what time of day it was before heading outside to the world and the sounds and the sun, if it was the right time in between.

For there it was that was true release and the freedom you had for too long sought, long before it was that you had gotten your last night’s sleep.

You gave up the caffeine and the nicotine for all that was open and free and out of doors. And the clock really didn’t matter anymore because it would have been either really bright or really dark outside depending on which in between it was that you had gone out of doors to finally find.

And that was all you really needed and all you really wanted and all, really, that you had ever known. It was home and it was comfortable and with all that fret about health and stuff it was still the best for you no matter what they said. They wouldn’t listen but you, you had to.

You managed to forget about your last night of good sleep but you were still able to think about the next one or even the next one after that.

That was all yours and they could not take that away even after they did manage to take away the coffee and the cigarettes and even the old clock on the wall. And somehow, too, the music had gone so very far away.

But there were still the sounds outside and those you were still free to enjoy as long as there was life and the sun, no matter which in between you happened to happen upon. One would lead to another anyhow and somewhere in there you might find that good sleep.

As long as there was the sun to split the day, and the night, in two.

But then they came for that too and the whole shithouse wound up in flames and there was no sleep no more. Not even the bad kind…

The Call of the Untamed Liberal

Commentary Political Social No Comments

 

My understanding is that liberal used to have a far different meaning, way back a couple centuries ago.

My understanding is that a liberal education did not mean being cut and carved and served up for progressive consumption in the feast of socialism.

Like socialism? Where has it worked for more than a small and very diverse populace?

Like communism maybe? Yeah, that’s proven what can happen when socialistic flames get stoked to the point of needing to be strictly and completely controlled. Ends in smaller fires and far more exterminations of the uninformed, undesired, unwanted, uneducated, unwelcome, uninhibited and unimportant elements within its own existence. Even the originators get consumed and destroyed.

No one wants war really. Well, maybe a few do. But war comes nonetheless. It always has and always will no matter how much your well-fed, anti-capitalistic, weed-smoking, over-sheltered, tenured, and completely naïve Che-G-wearing prof may try to convince you otherwise. Has he or she been outside the great wall of learning within, say, the last lifetime?

Get educated, sure, but stay wise and vigilant. There’s a reason it’s called utopia.

Liberal causes are amazing to me. They can champion just about anything or anyone outside of what has stood for generations as success, common sense, good practice, moral fortitude, and natural tendencies but they steer ever clear of the old and mundane. Too boring. Too un-cool. Just time-tested and proven and know to actually work. Maybe, at the heart, just too damned white.

We have become a laboratory for the well-connected and also those who wish simply to tumble the apple cart to see the apples roll and have a giggle at someone else’s expense. Funny when it ain’t’ you.

If you stay true to your moral guidelines; if you practice some sort of uplifting and tolerant religion; if you seek and pursue and acquire true education and not indoctrination; if you believe in God and country; if you work for a living and work until you can afford to do more; if you then do more and marry the opposite-gendered person of your dreams; if you buy a house, start a family; if you work hard to improve yourself so as to help your family and your community; if you actively participate in elections and vote for policy rather than causes; if you plan for the future of your children and for your own retirement and ultimate demise; if you give a damn, really, about others and giving them a hand up and not a free ride at someone else’s expense; if you care about the future of this great country and it’s standing in the world; if you want a better tomorrow in all areas possible; if you still believe in the American dream…

Well then get out and get a job and work and sweat and have some kids (not one child as a project). Go to church once in a while and believe in a power higher than yourself. Worry over some bills that you and not someone else is responsible for paying. Turn to and face and even embrace the real world and, well, you might just find it very, very hard to be a liberal.

Churchill said it best and it still rings ever true. Eh? Look it up.

What is the world like in your utopia? Did you ever think it through to the end? Did you start with an objective and lay out a strategy or did someone just convince you to blindly follow a cause…or perhaps just its leader since that requires far less research and intelligence.

Get wise and get real.

Liberalism, as defined today, simply means doing your best to destroy the old and failing miserably when constructing its replacement if you even happen to have an idea of what that may look like in your utopia.

All of the best and brightest socialists and communists knew it and maybe you should wise up, study their histories beyond their idealistic phases (these would be the phases your profs highlight with no mention of what happened later) and you might too become enlightened. I don’t think there were many happy endings.

Life’s too hard to be so naïve. Wise up.

Life’s too short to be so stupid. Wise up.

ain’t much longer now

Commentary Political Social No Comments

 

Been awhile…

So many things in my head and so much I wanna say but just don’t seem to get here often enough anymore.

How ya been?

Me?  Well, not the greatest but getting’ by, getting’ by.  Made it this far so far right?

Are you happy?  I mean with yourself and your life; with your family and your place in society; with the education systems and the local government; with the state of the culture; with your personal rights and freedoms; with your ability to freely practice your religion with no government interference; with your state and our federal government; with your economic position and condition; with all that is now, or is to be, and compared to what once was in this land of ours?

Oh, that’s right, the land my really not be “ours” but that’s just a detail on a bureaucrat’s desk somewhere and of no particular concern to you.

And you only reading this to kill some time waiting on the check from Daddy G.

Life ticks away and freedoms slide on by and somehow just disappear while we ain’t looking.

Are you better off now then you were before?  Do you live by the toil of your own self or do you let Daddy G do all that for you?

Easier to be bought off I suppose; getting fucked for money is probably better than getting fucked just for fun…if you wanna eat in the morning that is.

And you just take it don’t you?  Ain’t no concern of yours and ain’t no business of no one else.

But there is that deep-down fear that you manage to always ignore and avoid ain’t there?

Look, even now you can’t find it, face it, or figure out a way to shake it off. It’s there and that’s all there is to it.

How much you done for yourself this week?  Slave or whore- you gets to pick.

Daddy G just keep givin’ until, well, he either decides to stop or the stuff he givin’ just run out.  There ain’t no more of what ain’t no longer there.  Even Daddy G can’t do the loaves & fishes thing even though he sure does a good job in tryin to make you think it so.

No, it don’t stop, it just keep getting worse. But if you inside the bubble there ain’t no reason to make it pop is there?

And I know you don’t read or know much history (unless you managed to read the stuff they done re-wrote during your formative scholastic years) but there are lessons there.

No?  Oh, okay, what’s different now?

Oh yeah- there be smarter people in charge that just know how to do it right…for you.

Yeah, right.  Why they so nice?

Maybe it’s that there be slicker folk in charge now and they just know how to do it right…to you.

Maybe they the same gender so, yeah, they got it right. Maybe they the same party so they gotta know.  Maybe they the same sexual preference so they really understand.  Maybe they the same color so they know you and get you.  Maybe they worship the same god- or none- and you just like that.  Maybe they from the same place so they feel the pain and know the streets. In some way man they just like you!

Right? The fact that they rich and powerful and livin’ by a whole different set of rules is just, well, maybe it’s just the way nature made it to be.  But it ain’t no particular worry for you anyhow as long as you get the last little trickle from the hose.

Yeah, it gonna end and you ain’t got no choice since you took the money and got on your back with legs spread (or bent over with cheeks spread if that’s your liberal preference).  They own you and you won’t even admit it. Or worse yet you don’t even know it.

Used to be that slaves didn’t wanna be slaves.  Used to be that slaves knew they were slaves and the ones that knew it and didn’t like it tried to change it.

Yeah, it’ll end and since you ain’t choosing when to say when they gonna end it on their terms, when Daddy G don’t need you no more. How long that?

And then don’t come runnin’ to me cuz I hope to be long gone and outta here when that shithouse meets the flame…

And it seem to me that we closer to the end now than the beginning.

Live Free Bird or Die

Stories No Comments

There. Right there. Can’t you see? Alongside the house, lying upside down and not looking too well. In fact, looking rather dead to me.

How long ago was it that you were in flight and feeling free with the sun on your wings and a song to sing so right at the ready? How long ago was it that you were just flitting about in search of food or perhaps new shelter? How long ago was it that your little bird heart beat and your life was still along for the ride?

Maybe less than a day.

But then you may have looked up just as you struck the window. Maybe not. Many have committed such an act before here at this house- our fault for the reflective nature of the panes selected. Mea culpa I suppose. Some have survived as if merely concussed (can so small a brain even be concussed?) while others have met their fate as they met the unyielding glass.

And each time it happens we are startled at the sound which is loud and quite intrusive I might add. That is when we are here to hear it here.

We are all somewhat disturbed while you, dear bird,well, you are either concussed or quite dead. It is so.

So sad but it happens so often that one might assume the word would spread not to do that any longer- “fly that way, too fast, over there, and you may die!” could be a warning spread but maybe bird creatures are more selfish than that or do not communicate among the species.

Funny, our cardinals never seem to smash into the windows- the females just peck at them in the belief that they are attacking a threat I suppose. Are they smarter fliers and just dumb peckers? Ah…

In any event our fake owls and hawks have done the trick to stop the pecking (and it makes a very bad bird saliva mess on our reflective window panes let me tell you) but not to limit the kamikazes.

Here today, dead tomorrow.

And then there is the foolish robin-like bird which rests upon the chimney pot and either stumbles (do birds stumble or trip?) or tips or is pushed into the flue and has little choice then but to go down along with gravity. These aren’t Harriers you know, they are birds. Okay, I suppose that a humming bird might figure out how to get out but this is a dumb robin-like bird. No offense intended but I’ve seen you all in action out there.

My dog hears it first, a-fluttering away in the flue just about the closed damper. At first I figure it is a rodent or squirrel but the fluttering of wings betrays the identity. Bird. Perhaps one of the crazy swallows that I had seen earlier buzzing the house.

But swallows never seem to smash into the windows and the purple martins we have nearby that buzz me as I mow the lawn on my trusty tractor are so controlled, so precise in flight (often just missing my bobbing head) that I figure neither would be stupid or careless enough to fall down a chimney flue.

Could be a bat. Oh crap, not a bat. We don’t even own a belfry.

All right, I kind of already told you what kind of bird it was but so what…leave me alone and just read on.

So what to do? Leave it and hope it figures a way to ascend the 25’ or more it managed to descend? Leave it and know that it will die but likely stink to high heaven? I suppose if it died we could light a roaring fire and roast it but our smoke detectors are set to respond to the smell of roasting avians. So then you’d have smell AND noise.

No, I must secure a method to secure its release, dead or alive.

Oh the ideas that come to mind but the best are not possible as I just don’t have the material or the time to implement them. And still the poor winged creature flutters noisily while my canine searches her own brain I suppose for a method to get past the fire screen and up into that chimney to see just what it is that teases her so and maybe eat it first and ask questions later.

I must release it and then re-capture it in order to set it free. Somewhat of a cruel approach as the poor creature, at once ecstatic upon its release, might be a bit upset again upon re-capture. Still, it is for its own good yes?

No way to capture it though- just don’t have the right materials.

Think. Think. Think.

I know, I have it! Block off all of the exits from the room, open one window wide and then release the bird in the hope it will be smart enough, and not overly concussed, to find its way again to freedom. Will it work? Well, we’ll have to see.

All secured. Now to open the damper carefully and slowly. I don my leather fire gloves (don’t want to get pecked and, besides, don’t falconers wear leather gloves?) and have my trusty broom at the ready (figuring the startled creature will likely fly right at me upon release and that is then to be my Maginot Line of defense) as I lean in to open the damper. Be at the ready!

But I don’t open it slowly as dampers are heavy and difficult to open slowly. They are for me at least as I now know. Bam! Slammed open as always.

No noise; no response; no nothing. Just the sound of the happy birds through the wide open window. Convinced that the poor bird’s heart gave out sometime during this process or that I smashed it to death with the damper (that would put a damper on things, so to speak) I move to close the opened window as I am now fearful of a kamikaze bird from OUTSIDE flying right on past the missing target and into the room and maybe then UP the chimney. (At least I thought enough to shut the dog up into another room.)

But then I hear it- new fluttering from the flue and life! I quickly re-open the window and step back. I begin to speak as if that might give the addled critter a sound to target. I wait, but not for long.

At once I hear a louder and frantic flutter of frantic wings as the robin-like bird blasts forth from the fireplace and into the room- freedom! It starts straight across the room toward me but then, as if by plan (my plan of genius!), it appears to detect the call of the outdoors and its friends and enemies alike and does an amazingly quick u-turn in mid-air and flies toward and out the open window to freedom!

Freedom.

I quickly close the window and wish the creature the best of luck in the days ahead. Hopefully it won’t turn all kamikaze as a result of its near-death experience.

So a tale of two birdies. One alive and one not so much so.

It is instructive and sobering to think that you can be flying, free and easy, and turn to see- or maybe not see- the instant of your final demise. On the other hand you can fall hard and become trapped in what seems to be your final demise and face the internal terror of that imprisonment only to find, completely unexpectedly, that you have been released to fly free again. Death and freedom are funny that way.

I guess you just never know.

 

This Not Me

Personal Reflections & Memories No Comments

 

Woke up.

Got out of bed.

The rest is known to most with half a head.

Me? Well, I still got a roof over my head and a house to hold it up. But that house is costing more each day and it hurts to think of, well, so much stuff.

Why do I never sleep? Why can’t I at least find some peace in sleep?

But there are them that got it worse- some a lot more worse. Than me; than you.

I have changed and I don’t really like where I have gone when I take the time to take note. And this early morning with maybe more rain on the way is one of those times when I take note.

We can’t change too much too quickly and sometimes not much at all. But we can always try to get back to what we once were or redirect toward what we wanted to be, can’t we?

Yes? No? Ah…maybe.

I have lived. But just a life. A normal and, some might say, boring life. But I never tried or meant to hurt anyone and I mostly try to do the best that I can and I mostly try to do the right thing. At least as I define it.

Yes, I did wake up and sometimes that is half the battle.

And, yes, I did get out of bed. And the battle rages on.

But then what?

Move on I guess and get things done. Check them off the list. Oh, wait…I think I need a new list.

Life is a wonderful thing is it not? All the ground that we cover; all the years and the places and the faces and the memories that grow, linger, and then fade…all for some purpose perhaps or maybe toward no end at all. Linger and drift and fade away.

Sigh.

Too early and not enough sleep. Health is important if you plan to stay healthy. Mine needs improvement.

How did so much get by so quickly? My kids are not really kids anymore and all those things I put off doing with them when they were 4 or 6 or 8 or 10 just can’t be done anymore. Not now, not for some time now. Why did I let the time slide by?

Yeah, there is no time like the present.

I want to get things right before I die. I’m not sure what that exactly means but I really need to start figuring it out. Better than I have been lately; better than I ever have before.

There is no time like the present unless you live in the past or are always looking for the future, waiting for a better tomorrow that may never come.

And nothing ever a given man.

One day you will not wake up and you will not get out of bed. Just get put in the ground and all you did and left behind from that moment on will linger and drift and then fade away.

So make it the present. Make it now. Make it today. I need to change and I need to start here and now.

Cuz the me that I see is not the me I wanted to be.

This guy? No way. He just ain’t me.

A Maybe Rainy Day in May

Commentary Political Social No Comments

 

Seems like there was a lot of snow around here not long ago. Anyone know where the snow went?

Seems like there was a sight more purpose in my being not very long ago. Anyone spot an unleashed purpose running around?

Seems like there was once a good deal more respect and decency and intelligence in the world, heck, in our communities, not so very long ago. Anybody happen to know when all this narcissism crept into everyone?

Seems like people used to love this country and all that it once stood for, or might one day more readily and openly stand for, than any other country in this world. Who knows when it became cool to bash just about everything Ameican?

Maybe the big, successful guy is just an easy target. Maybe it’s just easy to sit back and blame everything and everyone else for what you and others should be accepting as your own responsibility. Nah…

It just ain’t your fault.

And I sure as hell know that it ain’t mine.

It’s gonna rain today on a day when my kids are supposed to be enjoying their outdoor school field trip to an amusement park. Wonder how much fun that will be.

But that ain’t their fault and it ain’t the school’s fault and it ain’t my fault or your fault.

Nope. It just plain sucks. For them at least.

Why them, why now, why today? Who knows- who ever does? Haven’t I asked that same question in the past? Many times??

Not raining yet but it will. Just a question of when and how much. I feel bad for my kids and their friends but kids have a way of finding fun even when it seems to be running the other way. Good for them.

Am I a racist, a sexist, a homophobe, and Islamophobe, a climate denier, an income inequalitist, a white privilegist, an imperialist, a selfish nationalist, a one-percenter, a pro-lifer, a Christian, an old white Republican, a stay-with-the-family dad, an unequal opportunity employer, an anti-minimum-wage dirty old capitalist, or just a horrible person all around?

Maybe I’m just one of those anti-Obama and anti-Hillary guys who hates them because of their color and/or gender. (Why all the hate bro?)

Or maybe I just happen to think that they are both dangerous and destructive political heads (note that I did not call either a leader) who also seem to be self-absorbed elitists their very selves.

It ain’t the color of the skin but maybe it could be the content of their character and their policy.

Is there anything more despicable than all that surrounds and has emanated over the years from Hillary Clinton?

Oh, yeah, there is: the media that surrounds and embraces and seeks to coronate her. No matter what.

Back home I worry about the rain ruining the day for my kids and their classmates but there is so much more serious to worry about it seems to me.

If I can just erase all the biases that the liberals have placed upon me then I might just be able to have a care other than total capitulation but, well, not quite yet.

Not while I continue to take a breath on this sweet old earth and within the crubling borders of this still great country.

I can be, I might be, the last man standing but somehow I doubt that I will be. There are just too many of us who still get it and still give a damn about things other than the climate changes that, today, bring the rain to us here in Pleasant Valley.

So damn ridiculous out here in the netherlands- much rather be in Baltimore. Wouldn’t you?