Seems that the U.N. has proposed a solution to the problems in the Middle East.  They are proposing that Israel move out of the neighborhood with the move being funded by international funds derived primarily from the sale of oil and associated oil resources by the remaining Middle Eastern countries.

Okay, so it isn’t the U.N.  It’s me.  But please bear with me and consider this proposal for just a moment or deux.

Israel would pack up its citizenry and any national resources that could be transported by truck, train, boat and plane.  This would include any buildings, vehicles, national monuments, military equipment, synagogues, religious shrines and essentially anything already transportable or that could be deconstructed to the point of being made mobile enough to join the exodus.  Again, the funds for this move would come from soon-to-be-former neighbors.  It should be worth the price to them I would imagine.

I know this is hard for Israelites to envision or stomach but let’s just call it a temporary experiment.   The land of Israel would be held in escrow for, say twenty years.  No one moves in or in any way lays claim to the empty lands.

And, as such things go, all parties would sign a document to these effects.

Now, where to go?

Well, here I would suggest that some southern are of our own very large country that has a climate somewhat similar to that of today’s Israel (sorry, no Dead Sea).  May I suggest further perhaps that, in the interest of the international tranquility that so many continuously advocate is possible with such seemingly radical approaches as this, the proper authorities in Mexico, California, and Arizona get together to define a geographic region which will, one, support the approximately 8 million new inhabitants, and, two, will offer some ocean access.

The impact to existing residents would be made as minimal as possible.  They could either stay as expats to their current countries and with those associated rights and protections or they could move.  That move would also be funded by the global communities.

Such a large-scale exodus would not be historically unfamiliar to the Jews either so hopefully they might be persuaded to see this as just another chapter in their lengthy book.  They get to stay together as a nation of people albeit not in their more historical lands.

There would be a leasing of land with a right to own after twenty years.  This would be fully subsidized by the U.N. of course but might be offset by giving the re-nation rights to some significant natural resources, both on land and offshore, within the scope of this new deal.  I don’t know for sure; we might get somewhat creative on this.

And, again, as such things go, all parties would sign a document to these effects.

The Jews would naturally be the ones most personally impacted by this but, in general, many could benefit from the deal.  For the rest of the Middle East, no more satan, no more Israel, no more Jews (at least so uncomfortably close that is).  For the global community, no more Middle East problem.  For Mexico and California and Arizona a new, strong, economically successful neighbor and the off-spun economic benefits of the new leasing arrangement for the next twenty years.  For the U.S. in general, having a strong ally closer and also having built-in border protection arrangement implemented as a free part of the deal.  Talk about your serendipity!

And for the Jewish population?  Well, the loss of their homeland would be tough.  But they would then live in a much friendlier neighborhood where they can go to work, go to the store, send their kids to school with much less fear of a missile or human bomb bringing innocent lives to a sudden end.  The release of stress alone would seem quite welcome would it not?

So there it is.

Oh, and the upshot of all this?  Well, I already mentioned the potential benefits but let me think.  Okay.

The only thing to do next would be to watch and enjoy the peace enjoyed in New Israel with its new neighbors.

Oh, and of course the same with the New Middle East.  Though the neighborhood would be identical save the exodus of that grumpy old man who used to chase the kids off of his lawn it would surely enjoy a very welcome and pervasive peace in the region for the next twenty years.

Wouldn’t it?

Here is another mental exercise for us to consider.

Pick some affluent suburb in America.  It needs to be fairly large and it needs to be mostly white.

At the same time pick some poor, underprivileged urban neighborhood.  It also needs to be fairly large and it needs to be mostly black.

Find two similar families in the white suburb.  The two families need to have similar economic situations and incomes and similar homes with space enough for a guest family.  Each family needs to have a set of heterosexual parents and a boy and a girl somewhere between 10 and 14 years old.  For the sake of this experiment only the father in each family works.  The kids are active and are all good students, preferably at the same school.  Those are the similarities.  

The differences are as follows: one family consists of two liberal parents who are agnostic, atheist, or non-practitioners of their chosen religion while the other consists of two conservative parents who are faith based and active practitioners of that faith.

For now, political preferences are not a major concern but neither family should have a professional or personal agenda which is influenced or impacted overly much by political considerations.  Political situations may be important to the family’s existence and success but need to have no discernible effects upon this experiment.

Find two similar families in the black inner-city neighborhood.  The two families need to have similar economic situations and incomes and similar homes or apartments.  Each family needs to have four members but one has a set of heterosexual parents while the other has a single mother and would therefore have two boy and one girl or two girls and one boy.  All kids will be aged between 10 and 14.

The differences here are as follows:  the single-mother family is essentially dependent on the government for its existence and is mostly non-religious, not attending church except when necessary.  The kids go to school but are not necessarily good students and education is not considered important in the household.  The other family has a working father and perhaps a working mother.   The kids attend school because it is considered of paramount importance for them to be successful students, which they are, and for them to be working toward getting into a good college to pursue a useful and useable degree there.  The second family attends church regularly and is, in general, quite religious.

Have you guessed yet what is next?  Good for you!

Yes, the single-mother family packs up their stuff and are transported to the home of the liberal white suburban family.  They will move in and live with this family for one year.  A set of goals and objectives will be created by each family in terms of what they expect from each other and also how they hope to change one another.  These may or may not be shared- it is up to the two families.

And, yes, the two-parent urban family also moves in with the conservative suburban family to live with them for a year as well.  The creation and possible sharing of goals and objectives will be done by them also.

We might also assign an independent panel of sociologists to help monitor but in no way control or even influence the experiment.    

Interaction between the new households, including at school if they do attend the same one, is to be kept at a bare minimum.

So set it up and get it going and then just watch what happens over the twelve months.

Any thoughts on how things will go to in each household and with each family?  Any projections on where things wind up?

Yes, I know that the variations on this experiment are endless and interesting but we’ll just leave those aside…for now at least.

Onward.

For the Left I thought they might initiate the establishment of their new country by using something other than the founding documents of the old United States since they don’t really adhere to or believe in them anyhow.  Around New Year’s Day I came across the following by a Mr. Robert Creamer (do you know of him?  I didn’t…) writing in the Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-creamer/fourteen-2014-new-years-r_b_4518591.html

Now I hadn’t heard of this gentleman but it would seem that these resolutions might be almost immediately adoptable by the new Left America.  Due to immediate adoption it might not involve the struggle he cites as being necessary to his cause but I suppose it could be worked out that the Left would stage some sort of internal conflict so as to help create the requisite struggle prior to adoption.  Whatever works.

That then should take care of our former countrymen and get them going in a direction in which they are most familiar and most comfortable.  Bon voyage.

I like lists so I figured that for the Right  I would propose one for consideration of an initial direction or charter for us:

1. Re-ratification of the original Constitution of the United States including the Bill of Rights but not the subsequent amendments.  This would have to occur for viability.  This would provide for a return to small, limited government.
2. Review and re-ratification of the 27 amendments to that same Constitution.  Failure to re-ratify any or all of these would not preclude viability and any failed amendment would be struck from the Constitution.
3. Pass a Balanced Budget Amendment and initiate an aggressive but achievable plan to start paying down the portion of the $17.3+ Trillion debt that we assumed when we split up.
4. Set term limits for all elected offices and limit the amount of money that can be spent on specific elections.
5. Eliminate all but the most essential government agencies and set strict limits on what rules might be generated by any remaining (few!) government agencies.
6. Allow unions, public and private, to exist of course but allow full fairness and complete freedom in terms of workers electing membership.  Set strict laws regarding political contributions.
7. Pull back all non-critical and non-essential global military presence.  Time to let someone else play world cop- maybe the Left would choose to accept this responsibility.
8. Withdraw from the United Nations- it is a useless, political, anti-U.S. organization anyhow.Strengthen our relationships with existing key allies such as Israel, Britain, Japan, South Korea, Canada, Australia, India, Germany, and a few others.  Re-examine same with Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Pakistan and the like.  Look into a few new, key alliances as appropriate but put all of these to a vote.
9. Roll back all lingering and crippling entitlements.  For example, reform Social Security in a graduated manner that will have minimal impact on existing or nearer-term recipients.
10. Reform the medical system in a manner that makes sense, improves medical care, lowers medical costs, and does not include government involvement.  That obviously means leaving Obamacare behind with the Left.  Bon voyage.
11. Focus on the economy and the generation of new companies, new industries, and lots and lots of new jobs.  At the same time unemployment benefits, and, for that matter, any programs that cause an unhealthy attachment to or reliance on any part of government, are to be minimized and made unlawful to modify, short of a national crisis or disaster, forever.
12. An essential social safety net will be established but will be made minimal and not overly easy to activate and utilize.
13. Pension funds are to be entirely private and privately monitored by persons responsible forever to the participating contributors.   Any misuse or redirection of funds would be considered a first-time felony.
14. No equal opportunity or quota laws or requirements will be allowed.  Proper and satisfactory anti-discrimination laws will of course be upheld.
15. Immigration laws are to be strictly enforced.  The illegals residing in the old United States are free to remain with the Left or go home.  Bon voyage.  If they wish, they may apply for eventual citizenship with the new United States via normal, legal channels.  Worker and student visas will be issued but will not be easily obtained and any overstays will be prosecuted against a strict set of laws.
16. Education reform will be pursued with vigor.  National standards and agencies are to be almost entirely avoided.  Parents are to be allowed vouchers to use their tax dollars for schools of their choice- this will also enhance overall competition. Unions are to be restructured and refocused on the proper end goal of educating our children to be the best in the world.  Period.
17. The tax code will be greatly simplified and can only be modified with extreme effort.  Exclamation mark.
18. Get our nation fit, off the couches, and off both prescription and illegal drugs to a very large extent.  Again, the government would play a minimal to no role in this but would simply get out of the way and work to remove any problem regulations or restrictions as deemed necessary by the private concerns.
19. Keep existing abortion laws on the books but work to educate our young people on relationship and reproductive responsibility.  Establish an open and private non-profit organization dedicated to actually planning parenthood and not just eliminating fetuses as a first or favorable path.  Non-profit does not mean government controlled or even influenced.
20. Recognize legal marriage as being between one man and one woman.  Period.  Attempt to rebuild the nuclear family and make divorce less easy to obtain or less of an attractive option through social and legal means.  Educate parents to parent responsibly and effectively.  This does not mean implementing government programs to accomplish these.
21. Practice responsible use of natural resources and monitor and limit harmful waste products.  Offer to always review any data that indicates man or nation caused climate problems.
22. Establish complete energy independence- oil, shale, refineries, natural gas, fracking, nuclear power plants, and so on.  Solidify primary relationships with other leading energy producers such as Canada.  Eliminate the import of oil from any unfavored nations, especially in the Middle East.  Continue to research and develop alternate energy technologies as feasible.
23. Double down on key military and space research projects.  Limited government to partner with private industry where it makes sense to maximize our international standing in each area.  We need to be the best.
24. Reaffirm and reiterate our basic rights as articulated by the Declaration and Constitution- such as the right to bear arms and the right to free speech.  Re-state and clarify what separation of church and state was intended to mean.
25. Establish the Golden Retriever as the National Dog and require every household to have one.  Statistics show that the good folks with Goldens are better citizens and happier people who are better adjusted to react in a friendly nature to almost all outside stimuli.  Liberals own cats; Conservatives own dogs and those should be Goldens.

I only took a few minutes to generate this list but I hopefully hit some key points.  I’m sure I missed some important items and maybe mis-stated others but you get the idea I hope.  I may edit to improve over time.

The Left could readily use Mr. Creamer’s list of 14 and the Right might start with this list of 25- guess it takes a few more list items needed to un-do all that has been done than it takes to just pile on to the existing heap. 

My goal was to have 25 items but I struggled a bit after 20 due to time constraints so I simply proposed the final one.  Yes, we have a Golden- two actually.  I’m willing to listen to a better idea if you think you have one.

If you disagree with a large portion of this less-than-perfect list then, well, bon voyage.

And please tell Mr. Creamer I said hello and good-bye.

So here is another thought experiment, the new release plan I had mentioned a few days back.  It would be a radically new release approach of the Great American Experiment so I am just dubbing it v.2 for “Version 2”. 

I would like to propose that we split the country and start two new ones. 

The first would be populated by the liberal Left and the second the conservative Right.  The so-called moderates would be allowed to choose one or another but not both.  This is exactly what happens in elections but for the following distinction- once in place one side would not be allowed to use or leverage the resources or successes of the other.  Got that?  It’s important to note because that is certainly not a distinction that is in place today.

Okay, with me so far?  Liberals line up on the left side of the playground.  Conservatives line up on the right side.  The rest of you need to decide which side you will join.  After that we will tally the numbers.

And the playground?  Well, there isn’t a really easy way to do this but my first pass at a solution would be to give the east to the Liberals (east of the Mississippi) and the west to the Conservatives.  We may need to adjust based upon the final tally percentages, the number of developed areas, the amount of natural resources and so on and the dividing line may need to therefore shift east or west, right or left, depending on such mitigating factors.  Let’s just start with the Mississippi, okay by you all?

Alaska & Hawaii?  This is tough but I would say give Hawaii to the Left and Alaska to the Right and then adjust the line again as needed.

The present U.S. Territories such as Puerto Rico, Guam, etc.?  That can be worked out at the table I think, maybe as an outcome of the military resource negotiations.  Strategic location and such. 

I think then that most everything can be divided up based upon the ratios.  Take the following: the national debt; any actual resources that still might exist at the Treasury; the military arsenals including nuclear weapons; military bases; the National Guard, Coast Guard, and Army Reserve; suitable and navigable ports; airports; energy sources such as nuclear/coal/solar/wind power plants (more of the solar and wind to the Left as possible); fire and police and other emergency resources (the personnel would go per individual decisions at the start but the actual non-human resources could be divvied up); military personnel (here, assuming the Right would have more personnel, the Left might wind up with more non-human assets); waterways; train track, rolling stock,  stations and train lines like Amtrak;  you get the idea.

The Left can pretty much have, automatically, the federal buildings; Washington D.C. (except for a few things); NYC; as many wind and solar power plants as possible; the NBA & the NFL; soccer; as many Planned Parenthood facilities as possible; controversial Mosques and other places of worship; pretty and pristine land areas with no useable natural resources but more than suitable for solar and wind farms; pretty much all the existing government agencies and sub-agencies (very unclear how many of these there are but the Right would offer to start over from scratch); a large majority of the trial lawyers; the ACLU and NAACP; the Nation of Islam and similar hate groups; NOW; NAMBLA; the National Teachers Unions and any teachers who want to stick with them; the Liberal Media by default is all theirs; and so on.

We’ll take (I will be on the Right team in case you hadn’t already figured that out) the Founding Documents (the Left doesn’t really believe in them anyhow); the old paintings of the Founding Fathers (I like those); as many key historical documents as possible- we’ll take Lincoln, the Left can have Wilson AND Franklin Roosevelt AND Lyndon Johnson for the most part; as many nuclear and coal power plants as possible; as many Christian churches as possible; the NHL and MLB; as few abortion clinics as possible; the Keystone pipeline and as many oil refineries as we can; shale deposits; as much frackable land as possible; most talk (meaning intelligent) radio; a few agencies like the DoD and Veterans Affairs- we’d start over with our own DoJ, State Department, etc.; and, here to, so on and so on.

We’d have to concede some of the awesome national monuments but we would reserve the right to reproduce these in their entirety in a new location, maybe somewhere in Utah or Nevada.  Same for other man-made treasures such as certain museums and the like.

The Left may need to give up the reefer madness on the Colorado slopes but there IS skiing in Vermont.

So we would have a split in human stock- maybe 55-45 or 60-40 or something.  I suppose that if a particular splinter group, based on a radically different ideology or religion or ethnic underpinning wished to carve out yet another, albeit smaller, nation, that could also be supported.  All key areas, items, and assets would be split along the same lines or be negotiated where this was not possible.  It could take a few months to come to agreement.

There would be a general fund in place to support the relocation of people and assets as needed but this would probably add no more than a trillion or two to the debt so no big deal.  In fact, since they mostly think adding to the debt in such huge chunks is no biggie then maybe the Left could just offer to fund the move- we’ll offer up the volunteer truck drivers with the Harley folks riding along for protection.  See how nice we can be? 

There would be post-split arrangements, on the clock, for such things as border crossings (prior to passport issuance) and free trade and lingering commitments or contracts. 

We’d also have to work out the details of the impact to our international agreements such as treaties and the like but would hopefully both be able to either continue to honor them as they exist or re-negotiate with specific countries as needed. 

Moving forward after the split each side would then be free to hit the reset button and start as desired to re-form their respective new countries.  Cool, huh?

Likely that we, the Right, would move back much closer to the origins as contrived in the founding days of the old United States and then go from there with the added benefit of having a couple of hundred years of practical experience to feedback into the first few years of new development.  We’d know much better what to avoid and write it right into our legal structure early on.

It would be much easier for the Left.  They would just simply pick up from where they left off prior to the split and then continue down that same path but with the understanding that they would no longer be able to siphon anything whatsoever off from the dastardly Right.  Simple enough for them right?  Certainly simple enough for us.

So let’s set it and forget it and then come back, say, every five years and see how things are going for the two new countries.  Just three questions remaining then:

What should we name each new America?

Which will you join?

Which will have the most chance at not depositing itself into the trash heap of history?

Ooops, sorry.  That last one should have been rhetorical.