Responsibilityless

Observations Political No Comments

 

Things may not always go as planned; or hoped; or desired; or as we think that they should if there is a God.

Nope, things often just go. And how we respond to that may just determine who we are and how we will do with our own existence. How we react to the good and how we react to the bad. All responses are telling; all responses serve to mold us and, hopefully, instruct us for how to better respond in the future.

Responsibility is something of a rare commodity as of late. Many of us avoid it, many of us disdain it. Fewer and fewer of our children are instructed on how to accept it. Why is that, have you ever wondered?

I, for one, blame the parents- us. It’s as if whatever our kids do reflects completely on us- not just on us in terms of our ability to raise them but on us as people, the very core of what we are, of who we are. If my son has failed, I have failed; if no son flunks a test, it is me who flunked it; if my son strikes out looking it is me who could not pull the trigger…and I should hang my head in shame. Or, better yet, I can just blame it on someone or something else and shirk and responsibility whatsoever- that saves him and in saving him I am saving myself. Perfect!

But what happens when no one anywhere will accept responsibility for what they do, for what gets done under their watch?

If my kid hits another kid who is at fault? There will be those who take it (the abused) and those who think it is okay or just simply decide they were not responsible for their behavior. Sound ridiculous? Not really. Happens all the time.

Sometimes we can just claim ignorance- we just didn’t know. “I didn’t know Johnny was struggling with his math” (never mind the 3 D’s and 2 F’s he got in his last 5 assignments); “If Billy wanted to pitch he should have said something” (he did, coach, several times, and, like most kids, just finally gave up asking); “You mean my yelling at you was causing problems? I never knew…” (all tears ignored)..

Nothing could have been done to avoid this. I never had any idea. No one is special.   You’ll get your chance. It’s not your fault and it sure as hell isn’t mine. It really wasn’t my decision. There’s nothing I can do about it; there’s nothing you can do about it; there’s nothing anyone can do about it; there is nothing at all that can be done about any of this by anyone at any time…

When responsibility is evicted excuses move in. And before long even excuses aren’t needed any longer. No one is at fault and no one is to blame. So it would then follow that any action, that any activity is completely acceptable. Nothing at all is off limits.

Impossible? Maybe not…

Have you checked out our federal government lately?

After the previous 30 years of so of moving in this direction are you surprised?

Well, I still choose to bring up my kids differently and I hope that somehow it will make a difference- for them and maybe for those whose lives their own touch. Maybe it is not too late to re-inject some responsibility into this world- ourselves, our families, our children, our schools, our communities…

Our government? You can keep the “our” stuff- none of that was my fault.

And No One Answers

Commentary Political No Comments

 

So much is going on and so much is not.

So much needs to be said and there remains so much on which folks should remain quiet.

So many need help and too many do nothing to change that- for others and for themselves.

Many days have sunshine and many have rain. Some are cold and some are warm. Some days the wind blows here without surcease and nothing without weight should be left unattended. Nothing is safe, nothing cannot be blown away.

Some days there is a feeling unlike any that has been felt before and there is hope within that this day should be one of those…for me. But still there remain all the questions.

There are many that I wish to ask and there are many answers I have never been able to secure. Perhaps I have not found the right ones to ask- either the questions or the folks I question. Often I question the ether so should not be surprised when the ether does not answer.

Our government: there is so much that they are doing and so much that they have done and so much of all of that should fall under extreme scrutiny and so much of that even seems to border on the illicit, the unconstitutional, and the blatantly illegal. Why is no one answering the questions put forth regarding these actions and this activity? Why do the American people just sit back and accept all that is being put upon them? When will we all wise up and the rise up to save what is left of the best that there could possibly be?

We were indeed the best at one time. This is what our founders envisioned and planned for accordingly and this is indeed what we once were taught to pursue. Why have we so willingly abandoned that?

Now we just pursue what feels good. Now we just ignore all that threatens us. Is that Nero on the fiddle?

I’m flat this morning and my mind has not recovered from certain things. I am just still troubled by all that is happening all around- immediately around my family and pervasively around our world.

Will we survive? Will we thrive? One thing at a time I suppose.

I ask. Who will answer? Will anyone answer? Will no one answer?

Application to America

Stories No Comments

I Wish to…

 

Dear America:

I live in another country but I know your language. I know it quite well. I know it perhaps better than most of your citizens and that is interesting if not rather sad. Why is that do you think?

I know your history and I feel that I know your people. In my mind I have walked to the edge of the Grand Canyon; I have stood before the silent figure of your Mr. Lincoln and felt his greatness all about me; I have walked the streets of your vibrant New York City and visited it’s many wonderful places; I have run into the waves crashing in on your beaches in the sunny states of Florida and California; I have driven a car from coast to coast and stopped, without papers needed, at all of the little towns and simple attractions across over 2000 miles; I have witnessed such openness and beauty in the endless fields and the many farms; I have cheered at your games of baseball, football, hockey, basketball, and, yes, of course my own beloved soccer; I have traveled down your mighty rivers, climbed your lofty peaks, hiked your deepening forests, and sailed your greatest lakes; I have felt the freedom of selecting my own home to live in, of voting for the person of my own choosing, of being able to go where I choose and say what I feel. I have lived within you for all of my life and yet have never been able to bring myself, actually, to your welcoming shores.

Until now.

Now I have been given such a wonderful chance to finally depart the land of my birth, where I was born and raised with such restriction and such want and need that went always unattended. Now I have been given the opportunity to finally realize my deepest dream of coming to America.

But I do have some questions for you. I do have some concerns.

I have heard that some of my rights to speak out, to speak what is on my mind, will not be allowed; that the rules have been changed recently and no longer follow your wonderful Constitution. Is this true?

I have been led to believe that now a man, or a woman, is indeed treated according to the color of his or her skin but for different reasons than what so many died to help eliminate. Is it true that the balance of opportunities is no longer in balance and that people still separate on the basis of race and that this is done not by the people of no color but by those who would have one believe that slavery still exists? I thought this slavery was an evil thing and had been eradicated but it seems perhaps I was mistaken.

Is it now also true that the Christian faith, one that I have had to practice in strict and dangerous silence unless I wished to be executed, is now under more than a little oppression? That the only religious activities free from censor are those belonging to the Muslim faith? That Christian religious expression is now being censored by those who believe in something else and also those who believe in nothing else? Could this be true of a country that was founded in part to escape such censorship and persecution? Could this indeed be true of a country that was founded in large part based upon those Christian principles?

And I also understand that a man or woman must already possess power and resources beyond simple reason to be able to contend for and attain public office? How does this ensure that those with no means are properly represented in your representative republic?

Is what I see on your entertainment channels really what is being presented to and consumed by your impressionable young people? Do they really do these things and act this way?

Is it also true that I will not be allowed to decide where and how my children are to be educated and that your institutions of learning are now filled with the type of propagandists that I had hoped to leave behind me? And that they are actually more sinister and devious than the blatant and visible influencers that we have here in my country?

Is it a fact that your information outlets are now largely state aligned or controlled and that many efforts have been made to demonize or even outlaw those with a differing viewpoint or those who simply wish to report and relate the truth?

Is it in fact now true, my dear America, that your wonderful Constitution, the one I have managed to read over and over and over again, is being attacked and systematically dismantled?

Is it the truth that I will not be able to express my belief in a family that consists of one man and one woman who come together to have children whose upbringing and future are solely the responsibility of that man, that woman, and the children themselves when older? Is it true that your government is now so very intimately involved in how the children are taught, and fed, and treated, and influenced? Why would they wish to have such control and why would you move to allow it to happen? Dear, dear America…

Is it now a fact that I would be not allowed to express my opinions on things like your gay marriage laws? Or that I would be not allowed to be critical of your President because I would be accused of being what you call a racist? Or that I will be not allowed to have free choices regarding the medical treatments for me and my family since they would be controlled and allocated by appointed officials? Or that I would have no say in what is being taught to my children at their schools? Or that I would be called a sexist if I said that I did not believe in spending my tax monies on things like birth control and abortion? Or that my first and final position of employment would more than likely to be with one of your government institutions? Is it true that if I did not have work that I would be taken care of and all needs provided and how exactly do you do this? Or that I would be made to go through your strenuous but fair methods for gaining entrance to your country while those who have entered illegally will soon simply be stamped as citizens? And that more and more of the information coming to the citizens will be in alignment with and controlled by government officials? And that the strength of your military will continue to be constantly eroded even at a time when it seems it is likely to be needed the most?

Oh, these things I have been hearing of late my dear, dear America and these things have me worried beyond what you might imagine.

You see, many of these things are what already exist in my own country except for a few exceptions. Only one religion is allowed here and not believing is not a choice. Sexism does not exist as our women have no rights. Gay relationships are punished in the extreme- it is simply not even allowed. Freedom of expression is not allowed to anyone, anywhere, anytime. Economic opportunity is not available as only the very privileged are given the chance to succeed; they are actually guaranteed success though no one is allowed to openly discuss this fact. We have no free elections here. Life is allowed at the discretion of the state here- it is not guaranteed. Freedoms are not provided; allowances are.

Why have you done all of this my dear America? Why have you let your government grow so big and their influences to grow so strong and pervasive? Why have you put into power the people who only serve to move you and your country farther away from the basic freedoms once protected by the stewards of your wonderful Constitution? Why have you allowed and even coerced your religious beliefs and institutions to fade while allowing the decadent and demeaning segments of your culture to flourish? Is it all about money, power, and control? Why do you continue to allow your tremendous economy and entrepreneurial spirit to fall behind that of other, more oppressive, nations? Why do you work to subjugate yourselves to the whims and wishes of the lesser regimes that exist across this tarnished world? Where is that shining city on the hill that your Mr. Reagan described so beautifully when I was in my youth?

Why, my dearest America, why? I do not understand. Here, the all-powerful government, the leadership grants to us allowances; there, now, with you it is the people who are giving the allowances to the government so that it can grow large and devour what remains of your freedoms. Why, why..?

For now, I suppose that I will continue to live in the land of my dreams within the secret recesses of my mind. That America never changes. Staying here is not what I would have wished to do but at least here I know what we are, and that is terrible, but I can have some slim hope for what might come. From the depths of the pit even the slightest of light provides hope. With you, my dear America, I have seen in my mind and known in my heart what you have once been to me and the millions more like me, but I fear that I see, with little hope for any change, what is too soon to come. Why do you decide to descend into the pit from which so very many of us seek escape? Why?

Such a waste, such a travesty. You were the last, best hope of mankind my dear, dear America but it seems that you have decided not to be.

I hope my English was good enough…

May the 8th

Personal Reflections & Memories No Comments

 

It is Thursday of the week that began on a Monday.

It is the 8th day of the month of May and I have not gotten enough done of what I started out to do last Friday when it was Friday and held the distinction of being the only day to start off the month of May in the year 2014.

Where does the time get off to and why does it not return?

It is early and looks to be a nice day ahead. I got up around 3:30 and am feeling the effects of not enough sleep…again. Too much on my mind I guess.

There is sports excitement in town: the White Sox swept the Cubs in Wrigley; the Hawks are up 2-1 against the Wild in the 2nd round of the NHL playoffs; and (OMG!!) today is the first day of the NFL draft.

All of that is fine of course but there is much more to be involved and concerned with. Like the world—or at least my family and our position in it.

I feel rather estranged from the world. My wife and I struggle for various reasons and I hope we can get past and move beyond our struggles. My kids are growing up fast but are not growing fast enough to do as well at the sports they like as they would like to do. Though they are good baseball players their present team is providing little opportunity to prove that to others. I have to simply tell them to continue to do their best and hope that time, experience, and a bit more size will help them.

You see, I would like to have them do well in high school. Play a sport or two that they enjoy, have the chance to succeed in it and have a great time doing so. Continue with their music development in concert as well as jazz band. Get a great education without all the left-wing, liberal-leaning, politically-correct, continually apologetic notions that have insidiously and pervasively invaded our school system (hence the plan to send them to private school and avoid some of that perniciousness- it would be a Catholic school though and we know how the Catholics like to shun their beliefs when they enter the voting booth). I would like them to make good friends, some of whom may hopefully last a lifetime; maybe meet and date a nice girl or two or three (no sense rushing into anything fellows!). Join a club or two and really enjoy the experience. Somehow keep the four years from seeming like two when they are done.

In other words, some of the things I had the chance to do and either did or didn’t do. To propel themselves toward whatever comes beyond high school. That is most likely college but who knows what level of indoctrination those previously-fine institutions will have attained by then.

I hope that I can begin to see some success myself on the newer road that I have chosen but I either find myself short of the time needed or too full of the excuses to actually get there. Still, I promise myself I will bear down. Always, bear down!

So, as the sun also rises, I rise to meet and greet this new day. Quite tired mind you but filled with the hope that I am able to muster with the pressure all around.

My kids have another game tonight and a chance to do something there to gain some notice. Just keep working and learning fellows- stay at it and as long as you enjoy it you cannot really fail.

My wife and I have another day to renew ourselves and gain back some more of what we once were when we started out long ago- but not too long ago.

I have the chance to “buckle down” and get stuff done. And sometimes a chance is more than most receive.

So I rise to the challenge of the opportunity to live and succeed; to live and to flourish; to live and be good, be fresh, be counted.

I live to be me and I live for all those who still have some level of affection and interest in what I am and what I still may become.

I live for my family while I can still do things of value for them.

I live. I live while the good Lord still offers to me the chance to do so…

And I should be ever aware of and thankful for the slightest sliver of hope.

May the 5th

Personal Reflections & Memories No Comments

Cinqo de Mayo

 

What do the Latin people celebrate today? I think it is called Cinqo de Mayo.   I believe it is intended to commemorate a battle sometime in the past and it has grown to become a celebration of their heritage.

Wait, now that I think of it this is just a Mexican celebration and doesn’t involve other Spanish-speaking countries (are they called Latin countries or is that not proper? I ask because I was challenged on that recently so…). Regardless, it remains Cinqo de Mayo.

So happy Cinqo de Mayo to everyone, no matter where you come from.

It is Monday and it has been several days since I wrote anything here. Been busy with other things but no really legitimate excuse. My goal is to write every day but every other day would be okay.

I plan to get a lot done this week. There is outdoor work, what with the warming weather and all the havoc caused by the ugly winter we had. There is indoor work as always. There is my main project (and burgeoning company) that needs a lot of attention this week. There are the major indoor projects that have been on the list forever. I have to take the Explorer in for some warranty work this week. There are a lot of youth baseball things going on- Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I have to get the boys out and shopping for Mother’s Day and I have to think about our anniversary and my wife’s birthday (a big one) coming up fast. I have to win my ongoing battles with the birds who continue to attack our windows.

In short, I have a busy week like so many people out there. I hope that it is a good week, a productive week, a week that I can look back at with some level of satisfaction when it is ended.

I haven’t talked much about politics lately but, never fear, I will. I will get back to it as there is a lot of stuff going on and I trust not much has changed in terms of the direction of our country since I last wrote about it. I still worry greatly about the future for us, for our kids.

We had a pretty nice weekend although there was some of the usual family drama- that’s a given. I wish sometimes that my boys might be a bit closer in some regards. It has to be tough to have a twin. If you are both boys or both girls then you likely have some or many of the same friends and that can become an issue of course. We experience a good bit of that friction and it is getting more pronounced and becoming more of a visible issue as these guys move into teenagerland. Nothing new there I suppose, just need to be calm and have a bunch of patience…!

Just got back from dropping the kids off at school. Amazing how the years slip by; seems just a short while ago they were at Joy Community and our lives were a good bit different than they are today. Not necessarily better or worse, but different.

I’m older now. Safe to say we likely all are older.

I hope that the coming week is a good one for all, a good one for us, a great one for us. And I hope that we have many, many years ahead of much of the same goodness, of much of the same greatness.

No matter how I may come across at times, I love life and I love my family and I love the chances I have been given.

I don’t plan to blow it either so please pray for me.

And I will indeed do the same for you my friends.

May Day Resolution

Personal No Comments

 

A lot of us make resolutions for the New Year. Did you make any? How are you doing on those resolutions?

Yeah, me too.

So today, since it is the first day of May I am hereby instituting the “May Day Resolution”. You are invited to participate and are most welcome to do so.

I don’t think May Day resolutions should simply be revisions or reincarnations of the New Year’s resolutions as that would be too easy. No, these should be different.

Since May Day is the celebration, in many places, of the coming, of the rite, of Spring and since Spring is a time of renewal then that is what any such resolutions should be based upon.

May Day is the day of the renewal resolution.

Sound trite and silly? When was the last time you renewed yourself in some fundamental way?   When was the last time you ever really tried?

I have tried but rarely ever done. I have always wanted to change certain fundamental things about myself but have done little more than think about it or have only given it a short-lived effort. Today is the day when I choose to do more than that. Today is the day that I begin to work on the me I would like to leave as my own legacy and memory to the world or at least to my own family.

You don’t really need to know what my resolution or resolutions will be; just be ready to meet and greet a changing me and one that I hope you will like just a little bit more than the old me. I know that I will.

I will become the me I have always wanted to be but just never worked hard enough to become.

Some of the choices for me (though you’ll not know which ones I am resolving to pursue you will hopefully be able to tell a bit more, over time, as I pursue them):

  • Be more positive and complain less (except about the government and it’s occupiers)
  • Be a better example to my kids; guide and lead them
  • Be more efficient and get more done
  • Work out more, eat less (this has to be a part of any such list)
  • Get better sleep
  • Forgive more often and more sincerely
  • Welcome each day of life as a gift from God
  • Become a writer (does any of this count?)
  • Become a better husband
  • Relax and enjoy life, enjoy the moment
  • Be less critical and less judgmental (except about modern culture…and the government)
  • Do more to help others

Well, check back at a later date to see how I am doing and please wish me luck.

And let me know how you are as well. And good luck!

LJ2 ain’t no dumb ni**** bro…

Conversations No Comments

An NBA Discussion

 

The Bulls lost last night and are out of the playoffs.

Donald Sterling has been banned from the league for life yesterday. He’ll likely wind up selling the team.

Larry Johnson said that blacks should have a league of their own.

Say what?? Ok, let’s have that (national) conversation:

S:   Yeah, LJ2 thinks we should have a league of our own man.
R:   All brothers?
S:   Unh-huh.
R:   Coaches & players?
S:   Unh-huh.
R:   Refs?
S:   Unh-huh.
R:   How ‘bout the owners?
S:   Maybe not right away but, yeah, sure, why not?
R:   Right, yeah, why not.
S:   It’s beautiful man, we should do it.
R:   We?
S:   Yeah, we need to do it!
R:   Where would we start man?
S:   Right where we are. Just convert over.
R:   What about the white players?
S:   Dey gone.
R:   Latin players?
S:   Ha! Get serious man! I’m talkin’ hoops not kickball!
R:   Where do they go?
S:   Maybe form their own league.
R:   Wouldn’t that be racist tho?
S:   Um, yeah maybe. Still, if we said it was ok, that we were cool with it and all.
R:   So an all-white league.
S:   Yeah and all-black league.
R:   And they could play each other in a Superbowl or World Series kinda thing!
S:   Uh, yeah,,,um..heeheehee…
R:   Why you laughin’ man?
S:   Imagine the best all-black team against the best all-white team.
R:   Yeah, I see what-
S:   Might be cool if you had a no-jumpin’ rule! Ha!
R:   Ok, ok. Seems kinda like segregation though.
S:   Yeah, ok, but they done it to us and we can do it right back.
R:   And then-
S:   Hey wait, hey wait!
R:   What?
S:   We could even allow the “N” word in the league- total “in yo face NFL” move, you know?
R:   All black..
S:   Sure man.
R:   Would whites be allowed to watch, to come to the games?
S:   Good question but sure, for awhile I guess. But later on-
R:   And what companies would be allowed to endorse the leagues?
S:   Like the fans man- white companies for the AWL and black for the ABL.
R:   You got names already?
S:   That’s the easy part bro, c’mon!
R:   How do you define white and black companies?
S:   Simple man, by who owns them!
R:   What if they are public and owned by everybody?
S:   Huh? Ok, maybe by who runs them then- the CEO, y’know?
R:   And if a black CEO replaces a white one the company would have to switch leagues?
S:   Yeah yeah yeah man. You getting’ it!
R:   Sounds real complicated.
S:   Not really man.
R:   Is there enough black money to support the same salaries?
S:   Huh?
R:   If only blacks can watch and only black companies can sponsor then is there enough money?
S:   Sure sure sure man.
R:   I’m not so sure man.
S:   Why not?
R:   It sounds complicated.
S:   It ain’t.
R:   Sounds kinda racist.
S:   Not if we say it’s cool.
R:   Sounds like we movin’ back to segregation.
S:   Cept we in the house now.
R:   Not sure the money and support would be there.
S:   It would, it would man! Why you so damn negative?
R:   Just sayin…
S:   Look, Mr. Larry Johnson knows what he’s talkin’ about.
R:   You sure?
S:   Sure I’m sure. LJ2 ain’t no dumb nitwit bro…

The Bulls lost last night and are out of the playoffs…

…and I think I am finally off of the NBA for good.

The Girl Goes to School

Personal No Comments

 

The weather has not improved much. In fact it has gotten worse.

The country has not improved much either and I am not holding out much hope there. It is so very sad to me that I will likely be able to say, on the day of my demise, that I was here long enough to pay witness to the deconstruction and final destruction of what had been conceived in liberty and dedicated to a single proposition, not so very long ago. To what end I will never be able to say I fear.

My boys made honor roll again and I just returned from the awards breakfast. I am, have always been, and will always be so very proud of them. They are good kids and they have good friends. I just want to see that they have all the best in terms of opportunities now and in the future. But with each passing day and each concluding school year and baseball season and band concert and calendar month I feel them moving away and onward, on their own, as it should be and as we are trying our best to promote.

Tough to have to gently nudge away those who mean the world to you but it is what should be done. These days I feel that far too many parents never do that and there will always be a price to pay for a dearth of independence in society. It’s there now but few choose to look and see it. Before much longer though they will likely be made to feel it and at that moment it will be too late. Too damn late.

Since I was going inside of the school this morning I did not let Maizey ride along with us.   This dog lives for school mornings. She loves to climb up into the Explorer (she can’t really leap anymore, sadly) and take up her perch and accompany me and the boys on our short ride to school.

She won’t jump out when I drop them off; Misty sure would but not Miss Maizey. The boys pat her and say bye as they leap out (they can but I, like Miss Maizey, cannot) and head off to enjoy their school day. They seem to still like school and that is good and as we, of course, prefer it. Then I take Miss Maizey on a ride around the farmlands for about ten minutes or so before we return home.

Every so often I reach to the back seat and she nuzzles and licks my hand. She’s like that.

She really doesn’t like the window open when we are going fast. Messes up her fur I guess.

No, she just likes to look out the window- maybe her canine version of a “moving picture show”- and be with me or just away from the hubbub for a while. She is such a good and loving girl.

When we return home I have a foam pad I lay out so that she can jump down with less risk of injury to her hips or forepaws. That works for now but soon I may need to build a ramp. Whatever, it will be a small price to pay to reward this beautiful dog who has given us so much fun and so much joy and has been such a key part of our family and our lives since the boys were very young. They grew up together.

Today she could not go with us and I could see in her eyes the sadness at being left behind. She has so very little that she seems to really like to do anymore and this is definitely one of her favorite activities. Sleeping is another. Eating is still another but likely captures the top three spots. I try to indulge as much as possible.

I fear the day when she will no longer be able to go with at all or when we have to take her on her final ride. How does one let go? I tear up now as I think of it but I will always know one thing for certain:

…we have been much more the better off with Miss Maizey in our lives than we would have been without her. Misty cannot replace her; no dog ever could. And even if it could I wouldn’t let it.

Until the time that we will have to let her go she will be given everything possible. We did it when she was a puppy and we will do it as she now ages.

It was the time in between that her independence came. And it is now, sadly going, but her family will be the ones to help her because we love her so.

And that too is as it always should be.

Where I Been

Personal Reflections & Memories No Comments

 

It’s Sunday morning and it is still chilly out there. The wind is blowing, as is usual, and it seems ready to rain. Not a nice day I’m afraid.

I’m watching “The Natural” on TV and my sons have baseball practice this morning at 9am. It’s going to be a bit lousy out there for them. But that’s baseball!

We have the usual springtime stupid birds on the outside window ledge tapping their hard little beaks against the glass and waking up me and my wife. Stupid birds think that their reflections are either potential mates or potential rivals and therefore threats. They seem fearless and afraid all at the same time.

Threats. We all worry during our lives about threats. In fact it seems that we are far too often dominated by the threat—of threats. And we live our lives therefore with the appropriate fear. First come the threats, then comes the fear. We remain stuck in life dominated by the threat of fear brought upon us by the fear of threats. Or something like that.

How many among us do anything to break out of this cycle? What have you done to overcome your fears or remove the threats from your lives? You should do something you know.

My fears are well known to me. The threats are very clear and many have been removed either by time or even some by me. Maybe it’s just that I am older now and all the other fears and threats begin to fall away. Wiser and more understanding of the fact that a lot of this just doesn’t matter all that much in the end.

I love this movie but I still have a hard time seeing Robert Redford as a great, great ballplayer. Gary Cooper, maybe, but not Robert Redford. Uh oh, Hobbs is beginning to fall into a slump. He’s becoming afraid maybe.

So I have been away for a few days. I need to get back to writing here on a more regular basis like I was doing in the past. Once the day gets away from me it is hard to recover it though I really have no valid excuse.

Excuse me for a moment while I go chase away that stupid bird for like the seventh time.

I’m back. Hobbs is getting close to seeing the Lady in White. What does that symbolize exactly? Maybe it’s an angel, sent to help him overcome his fears and all that ails him. He just blasted a shot that shattered the clock on the scoreboard at Wrigley. What a ballplayer. Looks like he overcame his fear or sidestepped the threat.

Just got the word that practice for my sons has been cancelled. It isn’t nice out there but I think the kids could still have practiced. They all need it. Easy for me to say I suppose as I don’t have to go out and play in the windy cold with possible rain. A baseball sure can hurt in this type of weather. I used to fear that a bit. I suppose that my kids do as well.

Maybe we can go do some indoor practice instead. There are always alternatives to things I suppose. Sometime you just have to think about it or look long enough. Life always has a way of providing a different way if you believe just enough and look hard enough, long enough. Belief and hard work. Rare these days.

Babble on. It’s time for me to go now that I have told you where I have been; sort of.

Life begins to take on a certain calmness and serenity as the threats and fears fall away. I am indeed left with fewer as fades each passing year. The ones that remain mostly involve my family, especially my sons. And then there still remains one from which none of us can ever escape.

But I am not going to worry about that one just now. There is always time later to be afraid.

Silence Comes in Bunches

Reflections & Memories No Comments

 

Been a few more days. Okay, it’s been a couple. With everything that’s been going on it is getting harder to make daily entries here. I will try to do better in the future!

I’m reading a good book on baseball by George Will.

I’m also reading a good book on WW2- I think its title is “Citizens of London” and is written by…um…some woman. Why can’t I remember these things?

I dunno. It is a rather somber day and I’m waiting to go to a musical concert at my kids’ school. Did I mention that one plays the sax (alto, tenor and now mostly bari) as well as the electric bass and the other plays the drums (percussionist as they refer to them) and also the acoustic and lead guitar?

Well, they do. They like playing music and they are pretty darn good. I am impressed and hope that they stick to it for, well, forever.

But I don’t have much to say tonight. I too am somber like the day. I see that a good bit of what my kids are doing now, the things they like and are pursuing, will likely not be the same things they like and pursue a few years down the road. In some ways for that I am sad, I am somber, and I remain silent except for the little I say here.

The baseball season isn’t exactly going as we had hoped though there is good in it. It is going like I feared it might but I just hope my kids keep up enough interest and a high enough level of passion to keep playing. I wish they were bigger kids and for that I blame their parents. But, in all, I just remain somber and wish that I could remain silent. Actually, mostly I do.

I wish my kids’ school was better. It isn’t bad but still I worry that they are being persuaded toward a more liberal and progressive side of thinking on a daily basis. They are smart and often call out the efforts made to change them. But how long will they be able to hold out? That is why we will most likely send them to a private school. Next year will be their final one at this school and while I am not crazy about the school and some of the people it has been okay these past three years and I will be somewhat sad to see it, and some of their friends, fade away into the past next year. That is a somber and sobering thought and that makes me sad and keeps me silent. I just think and I just sigh.

I worry so much about this country. What I see scares me and it is sad to see so few willing to do something about any of this. Why do they remain so silent?

I worry about my own future in addition to that of my children. They are growing up; I am just growing old and sometimes too sad and too damn somber. And I remain too damn silent and have been that way for too damn long.

These waves of silence are hard to avoid and tough to get over but still they rush on and pound me every waking day.

Will I be able to overcome all of this and speak my mind?

I dunno for sure.   I ask the question but no response is offered.

Only simple, sad, and somber silence…      once again.