Author Archives: LastFullMeasure

Falsivilities

Observations No Comments

 

Let me welcome you to my home and also allow me to give you free access within and the full use of all amenities, facilities, and resources within. Eat from MY porridge; relax in MY chair; sleep on MY bed. Enjoy, enjoy and consider all that I have worked to achieve and attain to be as much yours as I am sure that all you do not have and have never tried to achieve or attain is likewise fully mine.

Fair exchange I am told.

Such is the art of the deal.

And when you make any attempt to depart you shall be detained and not allowed to leave. Those guards and rules thought once contrived to keep you out were all except for that. Not set to keep you out but fixed to keep you here, once in.

Welcome to the Hotel California amigo. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

What better way to defend then to pretend to defend. And then don’t. Therefore those who want the defense are satisfied at sight while those who do not are made comfortable by the actual outcomes since the defense was just a feint. But that guard you just walked by as he looked the other way will not present his back to you once you have passed him by. No, he will turn to face you and then work to keep you in. That’s what you wanted in the first place anyhow is it not?

But there is more. When those who actually believed in and wanted the defense realize the full extent of the ruse they too may look to see that guard facing them as well as the soon-permanent guest. (Is he smiling? Is he friendly?) He will not be looking with such a reassuring and calm demeanor but rather with a glare and a gun.

You may not express a position in regard to who has been allowed into your house. You will simply allow them to abide as dictated. You must give way and allow full access for they are there for a reason and that reason is of no concern to you. It’s not really your house- you didn’t build it. You and your home are but a host for the parasite.

A parasite to you but a symbiotic partner to those who have thus allowed and so dictated.

Symbiotic for now, at least until the need for them and their presence is no longer.

By then though you will have abandoned your own abode and fled none know not where to; heard and seen no more. Your home will crumble and with it will go its newest inhabitants. No one will care then where they go but they will go nonetheless- naked and alone.

So goes the need, so goes the home, so goes the country and so go you and I.

But as they say, he who turns against one shall in turn be turned against so…it will also one day not far from this one come for you as well.

Whydo People

Personal No Comments

 

It is, again my friends, early in the morning. Too early in the morning. Sleep too often seems to be so elusive for me.

So I sit here this early, dark and Monday morn with a cup of coffee at the ready and I wonder about so much and worry about even more. As if that should be possible.   But it is.

And I sit here and wonder about people in general and then in more specificity. The devil has been rumored to be in the detail.

I am not wondering about the Howcan people though there are wonders to be had there. As in Howcan people live with the things that they do; Howcan people live with themselves; Howcan people be so callous and indifferent; Howcan people change the path that they are on. The Howcans are best left alone for now.

I am also not really wondering about the Whatare people though there, too, are many questions to be answered. Like Whatare people thinking; Whatare people really after; Whatare people going to do when the final bell is rung; Whatare people capable of when their options run out. The Whatares tend to be better left alone.

And then there are the Wherewills. Wherewill people go when all is lost; Wherewill people draw the line; Wherewill people stand and fight for what is really important; Wherewill people gain the strength to overcome their weakness. The Wherewills are strange and complex people who do not wish to be understood.

No, my focus is more on the Whydo people.

Whydo people seem so selfish and self-centered?

Whydo people not seem to care about me and mine or even you and yours?

Whydo people no longer display even some of the seemingly simplest of human kindnesses?

Whydo people not practice the true purpose of what they preach; Whydo people not realize that what they do can hurt many; Whydo people not understand that actions have consequences and that consequences have casualties of their very own; Whydo people not hear what they say or listen to the words that they speak; Whydo people far too often seem to just look the other way when all that is important is happening right in front of their own faces; Whydo people just let others get away with things that should not be gotten away with…

I am far from young and at least a few miles into old but I am still here and I am still alive and I still have many jobs to do and many things to get accomplished. Though lately I am far too apt to just want to give up I also find myself rising back up again, albeit slowly and with more than some pain and more than a few scars. And even at my advancing age maybe just a tad bit wiser.

But as a hero of mine once said, perhaps meant for all the Howcans, Whatare, Wherewills and, yes, even the Whydos: “I’m standin’ here…”

This person, me, is still here and still standing. Barely perhaps and with wobbly legs but still standing nonetheless.

And if you’re standing then there still survives hope within you. Ever beats the heart of a wannabe champion…

Belower

Personal No Comments

 

In so many ways I suppose that it is hard for me to imagine a time in my life like this. Every time I think I have turned the corner I find that I have not. I find that there is one more “challenge” that lies in wait for me and my family. Life is indeed all about facing and overcoming challenges but, at my age, it would sure be nice to encounter more frequently a series of successes…or once in a while even just some good old fashioned simple luck.

Seems too damned much to ask though. Good idea not to ask I guess.

Turned left- shoulda turned right. Zigged- shoulda zagged. Raised when I shoulda called. Talked when I shoulda listened. Yelled- shoulda whispered. Lashed out when I coulda cared more. Swung- and missed- at ball four. Wished when I shoulda prayed. Lent a hand to hold a guy down when I coulda used it to help him up and out. Broke when I shoulda just bent. Said too much and then too little. Was too late to be just a bit early for a change. Ran when I should walked; walked when I should crawled; crawled when I shoulda just sat still and pretended I was not even there. Mis-judged that easy pop-up; missed that 3 feet putt; hit the easy forehand out by just an inch; shanked that extra point; missed the open man on the give-and-go; missed him again on the out-and-up; broke my stick with an open net just in front of me; hooked the ball just to the right of the goal; missed both free throws and then let my man beat me for the winning lay-up; pretended that none of it really mattered that much to me. Laughed when I really shoulda cried.

It was a hard night last night and a hard and early morning. Rarely have I felt this low. The more I try to separate myself from the things that serve to bring me down the more all of those things, and even more of those things, tend to find me and bring me downer still. It is amazing.

After I started this so very early this morning I had to stop to take my kids and a friend to a baseball camp. I was tired but it was such a nice morning and I was actually ahead of schedule for a change.

I got a speeding ticket along the way. Turned out also that my insurance card was three months out of date. I should be able to get out of the second ticket but the first will remain. The kids were late for the camp.

Just when you think things can’t get worse they often do. Just when I thought I was as low as I could go I find that it was actually quite easy to go lower. Amazingly easy.

I no longer ask how things could possibly get worse or how I could feel any lower. Far too often I receive the answer I don’t want in a way I had not really seen as being possible.

But all things are possible so, again, I no longer dare to ask.

Let (Real) Freedom (Still) Ring

Commentary Personal No Comments

 

I would like to wish a happy birthday to America this day.

I am still very proud to be an American but I must say I am not very proud of what our government is trying to do to her. Indeed, what they HAVE DONE and ARE STILL doing to her.

I am reminded somewhat of what a once-great American company, one where I worked for over twenty years, went through.

Started in the 1920’s in Illinois Motorola became a very good company under its early leadership. It then became an even better company under its second generation of leadership starting in the 1950’s and peaking into the 1980’s when I had the good fortune to be hired there. As the company passed into its third generation of leadership it began to slowly, then more swiftly, fall apart. One can just look at what has happened to Motorola and one can logically assume that can happen to just about any company…and maybe just about any country. Even our own.

The Founding Fathers (I capitalize that with decided purpose) would obviously represent our initial leadership with George Washington at the helm. The second generation yielded Abraham Lincoln of course- no more needed to be said. The third generation began I think with Wilson and while it produced the Greatest Generation they were simply plain folk, as those of them still left would likely tell you. But the leadership passed from Wilson and later on through Roosevelt and Johnson and Carter and has perhaps reached its nadir Under Obama. True there was also Coolidge and Kennedy and Reagan in that stretch as well but all that they might do to slow the slide has been easily overcome by the counter efforts to hasten it. Intentions do not matter; consequences and results do.

I believe that people are beginning to just start to wake up about all that is happening and they are realizing that it is not a good situation we find ourselves in. In fact, it is a very dire situation and one that may not be able to be reversed before much longer.

So I would like to give my country the most special gift that I can.

Sure, I could give money to causes and organizations- and I do- but that is hardly enough. No, what is needed is education so that people can understand what is happening and what the impact all of that might likely be.

I begin with myself and my children- that was long-ago started. I continue with a site like I have here but it is time to go beyond and reach out. Until now this has simply been my own test site and lab and it needs to spin out to much, much more.

I believe that above all else the effort needs to be focused on our young people as is always the case. To teach them all that they are not getting in our schools when it comes to the correct and accurate representation of history and also to instruct them as to how our system was meant to work and how it is now not doing so.

Only with such education at the younger ages might we finally be able to turn the tide.

But right now our government has gained control of our youth in so many ways. It will not be easy to wean them away but with all that I have left in life to give I plan to try.

Will you join me? For yourself and your children? For your country and all that she has been and can still again one day be?

Happy Birthday America and God please still bless our country and give me and others like me, the strength and determination to help promote the changes that simply must be made.

It might not, hopefully be too late.

Freedomerica

Commentary Political Social No Comments

 

It is Thursday and a brand new day in wonderfully brand new world…or at least a country.

It must have been very hard back in the early days, the days when the fight was so very young and vital. I think now to our heroes then, the men and women who struggled so mightily and tirelessly to bring about the change that since then has so brilliantly defined us.

Back then, the few freedoms gained were then held at such a cost. Then so many more secured and, in the end, perpetuated. There seems in these days of victory surprisingly little that remains to secure. We are now indeed free.

Certainly before our heroes were able to achieve there was struggle- at first for the equal rights for women and then later for the equal rights regardless of color or race.   But these were long struggles and ones that many felt were simply overlooked or perhaps sidestepped in the original and outdated constitution of that place. Many said it was due to necessity or perhaps expediency for the need to get things in place but we have always felt that a poor excuse. And so very much was ignored…but not for long.

Things came quicker then.

The right to clean air and a healthy earth. The right for renewable energy sources that do not rape or pollute our kind host. The right for certain religious freedoms for some and the freedom of certain religious restrictions for others. It has been about balance when necessary I suppose.

Perhaps the defining original freedom then became the right to love whoever I choose and to secure that right with the implied bonds of the legally recognized commitment known as marriage. The need for that old institution has of course fallen by the wayside but the right to love or couple with whomever and whatever I so choose had been so fundamentally at the base of our continued progression. It may be restricted at times for health reasons but this is clearly sensible.

And with that expression came also the right to healthcare as defined and administered by our selected government officials and proper agencies. No longer did we have to burden ourselves with the need to choose what was best for us- we are free to have these others choose.

And it is really unnecessary to say that the rights as defined by our founders, especially of course Wilson, Roosevelt, Clinton, Obama and, yes, even Johnson, are now as much a part of our social fabric as is the right to select our wards. A place to live with some food to eat. There was, for a while, those rights to work and gain a sponsored education but it was necessary to deem these unnecessary and free us all to pursue our dreams. No bonds, no worries.

And the freedom from those horrible guns. It is so very reassuring now to know that only the appointed are allowed to be armed. We are all now guaranteed the freedom from worry that we will be shot except in the cases, of course, where it is warranted by decree. And as an added benefit of course comes the reduction of the need for courts and prisons and also from the need to actually formally sentence anyone to death. The decree frees us from such worry.

All that is needed is now provided. And it has been so efficient that what is needed is pre-decided. We no longer have that burden to bear.

There are those who have tried to warn against the system, to misrepresent the situation as “unsustainable; the money will simply have to run out” but they conveniently ignore the fact that the goal has always been to eliminate the need for money. All will be provided and all that is needed is indeed provided. Except of course in the times of shortage. And they might say that those times are occurring more often but, again, they would ignore the fact that the goal is always to eliminate the shortages. There is always a bottom to be gotten to.

But that is truly no matter for the ability to express such lies has been replaced with the right to state the truths as outlined in the annul revisions to the charter.

And those who continue their attempts to speak lies against such truths are justifiably removed. I am sure that the removal is backed by words somewhere but I cannot recall at present where that is recorded but it is certain that it is. That much we have been told.

Life is now so free. Without borders there are no restrictions except in those places which have not yet agreed to remove their own borders. Some have said that those “countries” have gained tremendous power and pose an extreme threat to the world order as seen by those selected but those selected wisely ignore such imagined threats and, here as well, those who speak to the contrary have been removed.

We are now so free. No longer do we have to worry about elections or any such old rituals. The wise have been selected and the wise then select the more wise. It is a beautiful system and should have been implemented so long ago.

We are free and have no worries. We can pursue all that we wish to pursue with the things deemed as needed now provided. We can pursue all that we wish as long as it is not disallowed.

And all that is not disallowed is of course allowed. How can a provided right to such freedom ever be seen as anything but a wonderful thing?

Prisoners of Wear

Lessons Personal No Comments

 

If things go on long enough you eventually just wear out, wear down, give in, give up, or just simply lie down. I’m not sure which is really worse; or worse still, which is better.

So many situations without good solutions. It is small wonder then that folks just want it all to be over at some finite point. Just make it all better or, at least, make it all just go away.

When did my outlook change exactly? And why did it change? Did it have to?

The answers are fairly easy- sometime before now; dunno; no.

Ignoring these three questions then it comes down to one very important new one- can it change again?

If that answer is yes- and I suspect that it is- then hope has not disappeared, it has not left any of us forever. While there is still hope….

I met a man whose goals in life were simple. He wished to see his wife happy and his children successful- he worked to keep them safe and well cared for in most cases. He wanted his country to be strong and prosperous and he tried to be a good citizen and neighbor. He would always try his best at all that he tried but really wanted very little for himself other than these simple things.

These goals seemed reasonable and honorable and the man pursued them the best that he knew how. His every living moment, he said, were driven and defined by them and he often could not sleep from worry when things were not going well. And we all know how often that seems to happen.

In the end he had realized some of his goals but told me that he was not satisfied and rarely felt happy about things. He worried too much, felt that he failed too often, and just could never seem to make things come out right in the end. I asked him if he had tried to change and he said that he could not.

“Why not at least try?” I pressed.

“I haven’t the strength to do it all over again” he answered sadly. “And even if I managed to change myself I fear that I would never be able to change others.”

Strength and fear go a long way in defining what a man is, or will become; it also mostly defines what he is not and will never become.

As long as you set the boundaries, where you set them, you must reside within.

Change the boundaries and you might just change yourself.

Are we lost?

Commentary Political No Comments

 

I don’t come here as often as I did. Probably because it’s summer and there is a lot going on with the kids at home and all the activity that surrounds that.

But it’s all good. I try to keep a positive outlook on things around here and I know that it is a very tough time for our family for a number of reasons but I think we’ll make it through and out okay. On that I can hopefully lead by example and also just remain calm in most cases. I have covered some of that already.

It’s not all good though with our country my friends and I think that we all know it or at least suspect it. When you find yourself supporting and even defending a particular elected official who you know is not performing or in many cases these days violating his or her office or, worse, violating the law and you are doing so simply because you voted for that person, or because you are of the same political party, or because that person is a certain sex or a certain color then don’t you think there might, just might, be a problem?

It is time for you to wake up America. Seriously. All of what you have is at risk whether you know it or not. It can all be lost in an instant and history is filled with such valid examples.

Why would our government try to keep its peoples stupid and indoctrinated at an early age?

Why would they jump to a defense that always involves not what a person does but how a person is classified- not by any character content but rather by biology or skin pigment or religious affiliation or sexual orientation or any such number of exhausted and exhausting defenses?

Why would our government want to allow so many illegal-entry people to come into this country?

Why would our government want so many people owing it in so many different ways- loans, welfare, disability, unemployment, healthcare…? Why would they want to make it harder for individuals to succeed?

Why is our government allowed to deny responsibility and claim no knowledge of almost every single thing that happens under its purview? How are they not held accountable?

Why do most news and reporting agencies, media networks and outlets, and so-called journalists not report any, repeat, ANY, of this?

Why do our government officials seem to be ignoring, bypassing, and even dismantling our very Constitution?

Why don’t you know what that document contains- what it says and the individual rights and general freedoms it seeks to protect by saying what the government is allowed, and more importantly, NOT allowed to do? If you read and understood any of it you would see some of the real problems and recognize some of these very real threats.

Why aren’t our voters encouraged to become more informed rather than just be told why the other guy, the other party, is so bad and what everyone is trying to take away from you when at the same time they ignore telling you the fundamental freedoms that their own positions and party are destroying on an almost daily basis?

Why aren’t you reading this? Why are you sitting there and playing video games all day long?

Oh, right. Playing video games may be very bad for you but it is very helpful to your government. Reading or learning something of value is just the opposite. Stay dumb, get dead.

How ignorant will you become before you wise up just in time to bow down one final time before the man?

It isn’t very far away I fear. I just wish I could think of a way to show you, to prove to you that all of what I say, and what others say in more depth and detail, is true.

Maybe if I just keep trying I will stumble upon a way. Maybe.

Yes, the River Knows

Observations No Comments

 

If a river is re-directed it will likely, in time, return to its original path.

Rain falls and snow melts. Streams and rivulets and rivers form and flow and fill whatever may lie at the end of their flow.

Sometimes they dry up and flow no more but likely not forever.

For the rain will again come and the snows will again melt and the water will find its way, again unvexed, to its natural end. Some will say this is as determined by God and some will say it is simply governed by physics and perhaps a little bit of chance. Some just say it is what it is.

Hate that expression even though I use it.

With our country we have made a valiant attempt to re-route the flow of history but even now we face the age-old threats from within and also from without.

All of the dangers and cancers of government, as known and planned against by our wise founders, are gaining and winning. Look and see for yourself.

The age-old threat of Islam to, not just Christianity but to all peoples non-Islam, has not only faded but is growing. And far too many around the world are complaisant and unwilling to fight or even admit there is an issue.

There are extreme dangers from both but still the river flows. Which route will it take?

With my family and my resolve the waters also flow but I think I know that they must, to a large degree unvexed. What will come will come. What will be will be.

It is what it is.

You can do what you will to inspire, to mentor, to teach, to lead, to help; but in the end things kind of just go their own way and you can only do so much to influence anything beyond a point. Nature kind of takes over from there.

In the end you need to be able to hold your head up and say that you did what you could and tried to make what you did be the right thing. There is a lot to be said for that. Actually, a helluva lot.

I did what I could to be a good citizen and also to exercise my duty to challenge or even rebel if needed. The founders were very clear on this in a free and unfettered society that is not to be controlled by the very government we have put into place to supposedly preserve that very society.

I did all I could to be a good husband and father. I kept trying when I failed. I stepped up or stepped back as best I could and when I could. I loved my family and did my best for them.

I did my best to be a good friend and neighbor.

These simple things are really all that define us and, in the end, all that we have left to cling to. For most I need a lot of work still.

The river flows. The river knows.

And so, I imagine, so it goes.

Unlucky 13

Personal No Comments

 

Yesterday was Friday the 13th. There is an idea that this is an unlucky day and yesterday did not disappoint. It was not only the worst day we’ve had since I made my resolve and maybe one of the worst ever.

I need not go into detail. It may just be that I am not a good parent and will not likely ever become one no matter what I try, no matter what my resolve may be. That is on me of course.

I suppose life is too often sad and that much may simply be inevitable. I’m not sure if life is filled with or determined by fate but I do know that it seems sometimes you just feel like you are fighting a losing battle against a fore drawn conclusion of our existence in life. That is sad.

I will likely never be the parent I want to be or even the one I should be but perhaps I can pick up all of these broken pieces and glue something back together that will be of some better value to my kids, my family. It has to be possible to at least improve, to get better in some small way. It does doesn’t it?

Maybe my resolve was too vague or too broad to be of much use on a daily basis. Maybe it should have been and should be more simple and straightforward. Maybe I was just too weak to make it so.

I seem to be too bitter these days and I don’t know why. It makes no sense. This bottled up anger and frustration is just a recipe for failure in all that I try and all that I do. I have to release it as quickly as possible and start a road to recovery. I really don’t try to be this way.

It must be simple and it must be quick.

Each morning I need to thank God for my existence and for all that I have and have had throughout my life. I need to thank God for the past day and ask for His help in the coming one. I need to relax and remember what is important and what is not and I need to improve in some small way each day. And once that tiny little improvement is realized then it needs to be kept for all time.

Build it up a little at a time and maybe I can make it all better somehow, on some coming day. It may not be exactly what I want it to be or what it even should be but at least it will be a darn sight better than today.

Given the way things have turned, that shouldn’t be all that hard to accomplish.

God please help me on all of this. God please help me this very day.

Uneven Dozen

Personal No Comments

 

Sometimes even a solid resolve cannot fix things. Sometimes the world spins and you just have to hang on.

Not a great day, the dozenth.

My sons still struggle to get along, too often in my opinion, especially in sports. One is too sensitive at times and the other too often lashes out, including at himself. He is his own worst critic and is often too hard on himself. The situation is often far too negative.

I was like both of them in some ways but I learned how to deal with and improve things. I don’t recall when I finally got over the hump (assuming that I did) but I do remember that I did it mostly all by myself. That is why I left things alone last night. I did say how I no longer enjoy going to see their games though because, win or lose, there seems to always be an issue after the game that one has with the other or with himself. And it has gotten somewhat out of control.

It is sad but it is true- I do no longer really look forward to these games. That is for a number of reasons beyond what I am mentioning here and I could get over most of them if I could just see my kids having fun and getting along with one another. They could so much together and help each other in so many ways to get better at so many things- school, music, sports…life. So much, so much. But time is running.

This could all change I know. I did not get mad and I controlled myself but I decided to let them alone to work things out on their own, by themselves. I hope that they can and I hope I am doing the right thing.

So today I am sad but I will not abandon my resolve. I will make some adjustments and move on.

The foundation of so much I want to do is eroding though. I find myself too often feeling lost and rather alone. My wife is rightly focused on her own health issues and I am nothing but supportive but find there is little I can do but offer that somewhat helpless support. My kids need me I think but I struggle to find the right approach to offer them whatever I still have to give, to teach, to share.

Is this normal? Probably it is to a degree but I sometimes wonder if my age impacts my ability to exercise the needed patience and empathy.  Maybe I am just too damn old.

Maybe so. Maybe I am doomed to fail.

But I will not give up; I will not give in. I re-affirm my resolve to change, to do the right things, to have my heart and my head in the right place as often as possible, to support my family in all of the ways that I can and all of the ways that I should.

As the immortal Rocky once said (or maybe more than once given how many times he was pummeled):

“I’m still standin’here…”