Author Archives: LastFullMeasure

Leftovers

Personal Reflections & Memories No Comments

 

For days we will be enjoying the food prepared but not consumed on Thanksgiving. It was good and still is but I imagine we will soon tire of it as we do so with so many things in life.

See them come and see them go. Use them now and toss them later. Always, enjoy it while it lasts.

Is my life now leftover? Have I come to the point where nothing is new and everything is just a rehashing of what was done or said or experienced before? Is that okay by me?

There was a time when I was young and life was so very exciting and surprising with something new waiting around almost every corner. You would never quite know what was ahead but you went, with such hope and energy, inexorably toward it. You knew that there was still so much more. So much more.

But then something happened and you began to settle. You settled into a comfort zone that included the people, places and things you felt most secure and at ease with- no shocks and no surprises, just life as ordered. This seems unavoidable and really rather normal and is not even really that bad were it still mixed with some sort of spice, some sort of new adventure every once in a while.

I pause, overlong, at a crossroad. In a way it is not really a crossroad; it is more like a major interchange. And the choices I have are to rest and remain rested, as I have done for too long now I think, or to get up and get going. I can still choose the direction and there are still several choices on which way to go but go I must. There is too much dust that has settled upon me and my body is tending to resist use with all of this lack of use that has gone on for far too long.

I used to think of such moments as a budding adventure but now I tend to hold a bit too much apprehension, if not fear. I am not really scared, just unsure and not wanting to get it wrong if I miss on getting it right. Maybe I am just lazy.  I no longer have the luxury of being able to waste more time as time grows shorter for me with every passing day. This is true for all of those who live or who have lived and it is likewise true for me.

This shouldn’t be too hard to do when you think upon it. I have always eventually gotten going in some direction or another and there are quite significant times in my life when I have had to choose and go. I am somewhat proud and very glad to note and state that most of the time I got it right. It might be luck, it might be divine intervention; heck, it might even be that I have a clue and a good one at that from time to time. Mostly, things have gone right and well for me. No major compaints.

So what keeps me from getting going? There may not be much time remaining to me and yet again there may still be decades ahead. Most of the time you just don’t know about things.

Life is precious so enjoy it to the extent that you can and do what you may and, with good fortune, what you will. There are choices to be made and steps to be taken and there are far too many who wind up doing neither.

I have done okay with what I have done but I have sometimes taken too long in the doing or even the deciding to do. This early morning I pledge to idle no longer and to grab hold with both hands and fly forward to wherever this crazy, awesome ride may take me.

The alternative is far too common and not something I wish to look back upon as having been my decision, my legacy as it were. Leftovers are fine, but only for a while.

Lead Chair Mystic

Jibberish Observations No Comments

 

Somewhere in a tiny forgotten town too close to the Arctic Circle to be considered habitable or even possible a deformed teenaged boy wanders about under the surreal hum and glow of the midnight sun. He is looking for something or someone that he knows he can never find but he also knows, at moments so intimately alternate that they all too easily become virtually concurrent, that he also can never stop looking. He will look always and yet always know that he cannot find whatever or whoever it is that he is seeking. He is American and he is lost. Endlessly and hopelessly he searches while those about him, the few that remain in this comatose town, look on with not even a little wonder or wander remaining to them.

Much farther south there was an enormous and ancient oak tree that stood desolate and alone in the middle of an endless cornfield. The corn was past time for harvest and remained tall and foreboding. A small child, a tomboy around the age of nine, got lost within that immense field of tall plants and was soon separated from her mother by a distance greater than the distance a yell or shout or cry could cover in such conditions. Terrified, the young girl eventually found the strong old oak and felt a brief wave of comfort as she rested beneath its shade for only a moment before climbing up high into its long and strong limbs. She went as high as she could, much higher than any other child her age might dare. She went with her eyes mostly closed, not due to a fear of heights but rather one of open spaces like those that now completely surrounded her for as far as her eyes might see. Forcing herself to look she opened her eyes to search at length and also in vain for her mother or father or anyone who would be looking for her. In time she grew tired and the day grew dark and while she tried to stay awake she could not. With tears in her eyes she succumbed to the sleep which overtook her. Sometime late into the dark and chilling night she slipped from her perch and fell far down to the ground. They never found her. The field and the tree are gone now and replaced by something else not cornfield and not oak tree in nature. The small and lively tomboy was never replaced but also never forgotten by those who loved her dearly.

These things I see and these things I know. Things that cannot be seen and cannot be known. Still they rush upon me in small but shocking bursts and I wonder, why me?

As the car careened around the corner the woman was oblivious to the sirens screaming in chase. She knew only that she must not be caught before the time was right. To keep alive the chase she managed to avoid several serious collisions though she did impact several parked cars along the winding route which had been planned in advance; the route that THEY had planned in advance. Even when she hit the elderly man with the walker she continued to clench the wheel with both hands, driving wildly onward, her knuckles white and protruding, her eyes intent and red with angry fear, her mind set on one goal only- finishing the job. Just moments later she missed a turn and in her attempt to bring the speeding car around she brought it up on to two wheels and then it slammed into the side of a gas truck and they both erupted in flame. Luckily no one was in the truck and, amazingly, the woman managed to crawl from the blaze only to be taken into custody. She screamed out in some language that no one seemed to understand and, while being held by two officers and watched by a small crowd of bystanders she too suddenly burst into flames and was consumed, along with the two unfortunate officers who each held on to one of her arms. The story was that same evening all over the news but no one could offer even a guess at what had happened. Across town a young and ambitious man turned off the television and sat down to drink a warm glass of murky water. His frown turned just briefly into a wry smile as he realized that he knew what the others did not.   His thought of the woman lasted as briefly as the smile.

Why me? Why now?

The visions came faster still over less and less time.

In Washington a man was on the phone talking with the manager of a club that he owned, or rather co-owned, down near the border in Texas. The manager was concerned because the club was already packed, at or darn near at full capacity, and there were still more waiting to get in. The outside crowd was still growing in size and also growing in impatience and the entire situation was what was causing the manager such understandable concern. He asked the owner, or rather co-owner, whether he should lock the doors and call in the authorities. The owner, or rather co-owner, responded by telling the manager that closing and locking the doors would cause anger not only with the outside crowd but also with those on the inside who wished to leave. When the manager countered that no one inside seemed to want to leave- the band, the food, the drink, the atmosphere all were top-notch- the owner, or rather co-owner, suddenly got angry and ordered the man to throw open the doors and let in anyone from the outside who wished to go inside. The manager raised the question of whether or not those outside would be expected to pay the cover charge that those inside had already paid to gain entry; he expressed additional concern that they might not even be paying customers but would simply take up space with nothing given in return to benefit the club, its employees, and even its owners; he emphasized that by letting in the outside crowd they would quickly and easily violate the occupancy limits imposed by the local codes; he brought up the fact that the sheer number of patrons could not be supported by the supplies of food and beverages on hand, the seating available, the working service staff, the restrooms, and even the air conditioning and ventilations systems. All of these he calmly and wisely reviewed with the owner, or rather co-owner, but to no avail. He was told to throw open the doors and let the crowd come in.

What happened after the manger complied is not clear to me in this vision but I can only guess at what the outcome might have been- or will be. You see, I have no way of knowing if these sights are from the past, the future, or even happening at the time that I experience them. Hell, I don’t really even know if they are real at all but they sure feel like they are.

I see palm trees and many tanned and happy, shapely people. It must be Florida or, yes, California. It is a gorgeous day as usual but the vision shifts swiftly from the warm and sunny outdoors to the inside of what appears to be a hospital emergency room and the scene there is anything but happy. It is madness; it is chaos. There are far too many people and it seems that almost no one is receiving any medical attention at all. There seems to be a clerk asking for verification of some sort- I think it might be for insurance- and a uniformed man checking identifications. Some patients begin to be taken through an admitting doorway while others are held back; at first with words and later on with force. There is yelling and screaming- seems to be in both English and Spanish- as general chaos takes over. As the vision fades it does not fully disappear before I briefly see a line of elderly patients outside, some on benches, some on broken gurneys, and some simply on the ground. I vaguely hear sobbing and crying and other sounds I cannot describe but ones that fill me with such deep and clinging sorrow before and then after the scene falls fast away.

I do not wish to see anymore but I cannot escape. No one could escape.

On what appears to be a Muslim television station there is a gruesome show, it looks to be a game show. I cannot understand what is being said but there is shot after shot of what appears to be two contestants who walk off paces toward one another and then, suddenly after some instruction, one or both then just blow up. For lack of a better description it seems that it is a modern-day duel between terrorists but for the life of me I cannot see or understand how a winner is chosen.

There are riots, on the street, in and out of buildings. It looks as if there are white and black people both fighting and rioting and looting and attacking and subduing the police, or maybe it is the military, and setting fires and attacking others in cars and chasing down others on foot. There are sticks and knives and guns. There are boards and pipes and even machetes. I see many neighborhoods, different languages displayed on store and street signs; I see people yelling and screaming in anger and terror but I hear no sounds; there are no sounds. I have never before seen such violence, either in intensity or scope, and I close my aching eyes in an attempt to make it all go away but on it goes. On an on and on.

Throughout the night and day beyond the visions come and stay and then go. I am torn from the inside and completely unable to run away from all that I see.

And in the end, before I finally succumb to the exhaustion brought on by so many days and nights of sleeplessness I see a final vision. It is a king and he is stepping toward a podium to speak…

Happy Birthday Dad

Personal Reflections & Memories No Comments

 

There are years when I forget but this time I recall. You would have been eighty-eight this year had you lived. But you died short of your seventy-first birthday and that was about a month before I married. You would really enjoy and love your grandsons I think.

It gets harder with each passing year, of course, to remember you and those times from long ago. I essentially left home after high school though still spent my first two summers at college back at home. When I moved to Florida after graduation I didn’t stay in contact as I think now that I should have, perhaps in a way that would have made you a bit happier and your life a bit better. But, as is always the usual excuse, I had things to do.

So much I learned from you and so much of it stays with me today, is always a part of me no matter where I go or what I do in what remains of life to me. I also learned some things, just a few perhaps, that I did not want to do, some ways that I did not want to be- to think, to act.

You seemed too often to have a bit of a persecution complex and I have tried mightily to stay away from that though I have mostly failed. I try to keep that to myself though. And while you always got along great with people you did seem to go out of your way to avoid contact at some point. That one plagues me as well. You disappeared into your own restricted world and I find that I tend to do the same though again, I try not to. And, finally, I always thought that with your intellect and artistic talent you could and should have done more with your life. Things that would have made you more happy and satisfied and, dare I say, “successful”. In that vein I feel I have done well and created a somewhat successful life that I am proud of and one that has allowed my kids to have a better starting point than I did. In that last point you and mom did great and gave us a better point from which to start than either of you had- we all had a great education and also graduated from college and where we went and what we did beyond that were our decisions.   For the most part we all did okay.

What has happened with your kids is way beyond your control and was never really your fault. I don’t know why we went our different ways and why only two of us remain in contact but that is where things are at these days and I don’t see it changing. Sad but true.

Sometimes in older age we reflect a bit too positively or negatively I suppose. While this has maybe sounded too negative there is far more positive that I took from you.

Your sense of humor. My love of reading and music. My love of sports and simple things like walking and being outside. From you I believe I received more than an average intellect (fair and equal thanks to mom for that of course) and also a work ethic that will never allow me to do something half-assed. I learned responsibility and respect and I learned all of this without much yelling and almost no physical discipline that I recall on your behalf. My friends and those who knew you, to this very day will say how much they always liked being around you and what a good man you were. There are less lasting legacies in life to have.

These things and others I have tried to pass along and instill in my own kids but I fail too often in the approach. I sure could use some of your gentle command to help me get through some of these times, especially as of late. Perhaps the fact that I was much more on my own at the same age made our interactions much simpler and congenial, I don’t know, but I do know that I too often take a hardline approach in raising my boys and I sure could use some help, your help, from this day onward.

It seems the right thing to do, for me to pass along the best of you while trying to hold back some of the not-so-best and I hope and expect that my kids will attempt to do the same with their own. I can honestly and thankfully say that the best of you far outweighed the not-so-best and I fear sometimes that my kids may one day not feel the same way about me and it is with that and for that reason that I ask your help. I also ask, of course, because of how much I love them and want to give to them the best that I can.

Strange to ask you for a gift on your birthday but it would sure be appreciated and is sorely needed so if you can somehow help… In the meanwhile, Happy Birthday and I miss you and still think of you often. I wish my boys would have gotten to meet you, once upon a time. They would have enjoyed and loved you too.

The Coming of Thanks and Giving

Observations Personal No Comments

 

I try to be calm when things get challenging but, far too often, I fail. I try to keep my head when all around me are losing theirs but, here too, I am not often enough successful. I try to remember that things will get better and I try always to believe that there is some reason behind everything that happens but with the more life that I see, the less faith I sometimes have in those weakening convictions.

Tomorrow is another day but, to get there, you have to make it through today. It is so very cold out there for this time of year and has been for a week now with more to come. I am still unemployed with lots of ideas and paths that I am pursuing but have I lost faith that I will find something that will make me happy and satisfied for the next few or several years? Have I lost faith in myself?

Not really but I do need to get it together and going. I am moving but just not fast enough. When it comes to me I am rarely left without hope but there are too many times lately that I don’t especially like myself all that much. Guess that is normal and all too easily human.

The best that remains to me is my family and, for them, always for them, I worry and fret. There is nothing unusual about that.

So many friends and family have fallen by the wayside these past five to ten years. I cannot say that that is my fault but I also cannot say that it is not. It is a shame that my kids do not have the social networks that seem to come along with so many of their friends’ families but we try our best with what we have and we try to hang on.

Always hang on.

And regardless the circumstances that surround us we still have one another and we still really have so much, much that many others do not have. For, you see, no matter how good or bad you have it there will always be those who have it better…or worse. It is a very wide spectrum. As long as you are blessed with another day you should know that there is, indeed, another way. And as long as there is another day and another way then there is hope for all that ails you.

Thank the Lord for what you have been given and thank the Lord for what you have achieved and found and had the pleasure to bear witness to in this life, your life. Why was a life given to you, to me, to any of us? And why this very life, the one that we have?

We can look at another and say “wish I had his or her life” or perhaps “glad that I don’t” but, in the end of things, we are who we are and we have the life made from the clay that we were given. Not alone did we mold it and not alone, really ever, do we continue to do so.

If it is bad, it can be better. If it is good, it can get even better still. If you smile you may soon laugh. If you have a sliver of hope that remains you may find that it can blossom into hope. If you look around and truly count your blessings you may find that there are more than a few to be tallied. Things are indeed most often what we make them and we are often who we allow ourselves to be. And you should read that again and say it many times to yourself for it is very true indeed.

Love your family and hug your kids. Pet your dog and tell someone you love him or her. Smile when folks expect a frown and laugh when others despair. Offer a hand to those in need and food to those who hunger. Be there when someone needs you. Never lose faith in yourself or your spouse and, more than all, never lose faith in your kids. While you may not have created yourself you sure as heck had a big role in creating them. And with that role comes responsibility so accept that and never give up, never say when.

Give thanks for all that you have and have been given. Give back to those in need and greet the coming day with the hope and wonder so that each new rising sun may feed and nurture and give back to you in kind.

You may find that life can be beautiful for the first time or once again. You may find the things you have always sought but never found. You may find your spouse, your kids, new friends and old family. You may even finally find yourself.

Today, early as is all of this very cold weather, I will give thanks. You should try to do the same.

Sounds of the Night

Observations Personal No Comments

 

It’s late; or maybe it’s just very early. Still, I try to sleep but find that I cannot. Night after night; or maybe it’s morning after morning.

All that I know for sure, really, is that it is dark and I am still not asleep. But I wish that I was. God in heaven, I wish that I was.

The noise. That noise, what was it? What is it? Is it normal? Have I heard it before? Will it wake my wife or my kids or my dogs? Should I be concerned? Should I be afraid? Should I get up and look and face whatever it is, whatever it might be?

Maybe I should just keep trying to fall back asleep. Just wish that I could. God in heaven, I wish that I could.

There is that noise that starts in October and runs well into this month. A nearby farm as it processes grain or whatever it is that it does, all day and night, constantly and without surcease, that makes such noise, especially when carried on the wind in the night or even very early morning. And with the leaves now gone and the air now cold it seems to carry louder still, reflect and return and add to the growing din. What is that? I should know but I do not. I will one day though.

I have a constant ringing in my ears- tinnitus it is called. You mostly get used to it but there are times when it stands in the fore and demands all of my waking attention. They say it drives some people to suicide it can get so bad. During the day it is usually somewhat masked by the sounds all around but at night, at night it dominates and keeps you awake and forces you to listen, perhaps even to things beyond what you might normally have heard. God I wish that the ringing would just one day stop as abruptly as it one day began those years ago now.

The house settles and moans. Some seems normal and some seems not so. And if the weather changes, if the wind attacks with furor as it is apt to do in these parts in November, if the temperature drops or rises rapidly as it is apt to do in these parts in November, if the rain falls before changing to snow as it is apt to do in these parts in November, well, then the house really has little choice but to settle and shift and react and move and shake and shimmy and moan and groan and sigh and grunt and in general respond to whatever assaults it as if to let us know that, perhaps in its own peculiar way, it lives and has a heart and a soul like you and like me and, in the end, you are not sure if it is, perhaps like you, in pain and just letting all inside know so.

So you listen and wonder and still you do not rise. It is yet dark but you do not know the time because you do not really want to know. There might still be sleep to be had, some sleep to be had, unless you see that it is almost your usual time to rise and face the dawn.

The furnace. An appliance. A child rolling or shifting or coughing softly in his sleep. One of the dogs as it dreams or simply makes some canine noise. (Just please don’t bark as that would be a bad sign that there is more yet to worry about.)

The coyote pack on the hunt. Are they drawing nearer to us or is that, too, a trick of the wind and the cold and thin nighttime air?

Was that the creaking of a stair or two? Did that sound come all the way from down in the basement? Was that something in the back yard? I thought I heard a chair move down there in the kitchen.

Plumbing from somewhere. Someone up to use the bathroom; maybe the water softener as it recharges itself. But it could be a leak has sprung somewhere and you had better get up to check it out and stop it before too much damage occurs.

Did that new TV just turn itself on again or is one of the crazy kids up and watching it when he should be sleeping?

Someone’s phone alert just went off didn’t it? Was that a text message or maybe an alarm? I know it wasn’t mine because my phone is right here next to my bed. Or is it?

A bird on the roof. What was that in the attic? Maybe a mouse or rat or squirrel. God no, it might be a bat and that would not be good; no not at all. I can trap a rodent (later of course) but a bat? Oh man, not that.

What time is it? What day is it? What is on the plan for today? What will lie in wait for me, for us, for the world this coming day?

I need to get up but cannot. I think of all the places I have lived and slept and the nights, or mornings, just like this when I lie awake and listen to the noises of the night, or morning, of that night, of that morning, of that place, of that time. And I remember like it was just a moment ago.

But that is not now and I am no longer him. Yet it is still a cold and breezy November morning so like those from then and those still yet to be.

And I listen to the sounds of the night, this night, or this morning, and it is still dark and I still cannot go back to sleep.

So I rise and listen and wonder what kind of day this will be. And I hope that that noise, that all of those noises, are not going to be something for me to worry about any longer.

At least, not until later tonight.

Honor & Country

Commentary Observations No Comments

 

Today is Veterans Day and I hope that you are recognizing it in some way, large or small.

Today is Veterans Day and I will fly the flag. I always try to fly the flag on key dates- Memorial Day, Independence Day, 9/11, Dec 7, Veterans Day.

I hope that my kids and others will see the flag flying today and know why it is on display. Or maybe they will ask why if they do not know. I am shocked how little it seems that people know about their country and its history.

My dad was a WW2 veteran. My uncle as well. My remaining uncle was a veteran of the Korean War. I have known and admired many veterans of Vietnam and later wars and conflicts. I respect them all.

So few kids today understand the sacrifice that comes with being in the military. Often the commitment brings with it the requirement of putting your life on the line to fight for this country- your country and, sure as can be, their country. I will likely never know what that feels like, what that means, but I can still do my best to appreciate it and recognize it whenever possible.

I do not think that our fighting men really ever lost a war. That was done by politicians.

I do not think that, as some may contend, Korea and Vietnam were senseless engagements that simply threw away all those lives. I firmly believe that those men and the lives they committed and in some cases lost did so in the all-important fight against communism. I am naïve that way.  I do believe in the domino theory and I believe that our responses and commitments were instrumental in showing the Chinese and the Soviets that we would not simply stand by as communism rolled across border after border, across the non-communist world. And I believe that ultimately, though years later, those efforts and that sacrifice led to the defeat of communism.

And for that all of those veterans deserve our unwavering support, recognition and deepest appreciation.

No, communism is not dead but it was defeated. It lives still in the world and it lives on within our own borders and if we are not careful and vigilant it could rise again. And Putin would gladly take the lead.

Militant Islam (or whatever you choose to call it) is visibly on the rise yet we seem to only react to it and not take the lead in beating it down as well. It will not die, it will likely never die. It has not for well over one thousand years so it must be met and defeated time and time again.

And at this time of vigilance we have reduced our defense spending and military preparedness to uncomfortably low levels and I worry for our future.

And I cannot speak about the treatment of our veterans by the VA. That is simply too reprehensible and needs to be fixed for good.

On this day I simply wish to recognize our veterans and their families and the sacrifices that they have made for their country, this country; for people like me and my wife and my kids and so many others who they will never know.

May God bless you all and may God continue to bless this country; our country; the country that you have served so well to honor and protect.

We are still standing because of all of you. Thank you from my family; thank you for my children.

Done There, Been That

Personal No Comments

 

And so on it goes. And it goes as it goes. And it sometimes goes too fast or simply goes away. And often it does not go as you would have it to go but go it still does. And from all that going is left to you choices; even if they may be hard to see.

When it comes to ourselves and our families and loved ones we seem to be a bit blinded at times and often have a lot of difficulty finding a path out of the forest. We panic, we react; we get emotional and can longer seem to see the light of day. All is dark and all is lost. So it seems and so it goes. And goes…

But they say it is darkest before the dawn. Outside of my windows this morning the dawn is breaking and it is a new day, it is a new week. And with all of that unrealized promise come I; within all of that yet unborn living and opportunity there may yet spin hope for me and mine; hope for all of us. Heck, there may even be more than hope.

In sports there is an old adage- just keep the ball in play. You never know when things could start to change, when things might begin to go more your way. I know, I have managed more often than not to keep the ball in play but, now, I am getting older and the ball is a little farther away from my hand. These days it involves my family and not just me and that is where emotion enters and often takes over. We are human beings after all.

I have always been able to accept a challenge and also the results that came with it, good or bad. Not sure where I learned that, maybe just over time, but I have done okay. Sure, I am disappointed when things don’t go right, don’t go my way, but I want to share probably the most valuable lesson I ever learned from my training and my career in engineering.

So often when attempting to solve a problem in engineering, be it on a test or in actual design or evaluation, you will encounter failure, you will run into what seems to be a dead end. You have certain parameters you need to abide by- time on a test, design criteria, budget, product cycle time, customer response to a problem- and certain outcomes and goals that you are tasked to achieve. When something fails or a hypothesis or approach shows no promise you have to find another way. You struggle and you sweat and the only failure is when you run out of ideas. You consult the literature, you consult your associates, you bring it in front of the experts, you pray. Much more often than not you find a way, you find a new path to follow and you re-energize yourself and the effort to solve the problem, to overcome the challenge. It is amazing. Sometimes you just have to leave it alone for a while to cleanse your thoughts and wipe the slate clean. Inspiration so often visits when least expected. And you learn that it is indeed many times darkest before the dawn.

You also learn when to say when and you learn to live with “failure with honor.” With honor because you have tried your best and then even better. You have exhausted all possible solutions and then some. You have worked your butt off and consulted with others and simply refused to say when. Until it is finally time to say when.

You keep the ball in play; you still have one more out, one more strike; there is still enough time on the clock; the race is not yet over; you are just one shot or one pass or one catch away from victory. Or at least getting the darn thing into overtime.

I presently have too many issues to list but none is so insurmountable that I am willing to now say when. It is harder, as I mentioned, to accept issues brought upon your children or perhaps brought on by your children.

You try to help but fail. Often you fail because they simply refuse your help. And that hurts and aggravates but it is part of the plan.

You learn to live with it and let them go on to live their own lives that come, with no exception, replete with their own set of problems to solve.

You stand by willing and wanting and able to help but are quite often not called upon.

You sit on the bench just waiting to get into the game. But you are ready.

You are always ready.

Yahoo

Commentary Political No Comments

 

I waited a day to write here so that all of my exuberance had enough time to settle out. I think I’m there.

So “we” took the Senate, added more seats in the House, and also increased our gubernatorial advantage across these United States.

So, Yahoo! I’m guessin that everything can get back to normal and we can forget about things for the next, oh, two years while we await the coronation of Hillary.

Happy? Are you really?

Well, I suppose that I am as well. After all we managed to take back control of a completely useless upper chamber while at the same time disinfecting the evil influence of the evil Tea Party by increasing our majority in the lower one.

By the way, I would like to spend some time sometime with someone who can explain to me why the Tea Party is so darn evil. I think they pretty much have the barrel on the ball. But, another time for that one.

But what are those major-party policy-setters in Washington going to actually do, starting in January, that is any different from what has been done in the past? How are they going to stop being self-serving politicians who have not exactly taken this country in a direction that I, for one, would like to see it go?  The way it was always intended to go for the most part. (NOTE: If confused simply read the Constitution. Probably take you under an hour; maybe just a bit more. Definitely less time than the length of a football game.)

You see, when it comes to Congress, especially the Senate, I am a highly skeptical person who believes that the differences between the Democrats and the Republicans is merely one of degree. They are all, still, national politicians and share all of the same characteristics and are driven by the need to just keep getting elected every six years so that they can continue to enjoy the many fruits of a career that is not so readily available to the vast majority of those of us who they have been elected to supposedly serve. Even the good ones eventually get Washing-toned.

(NOTE: $100M spent in North Carolina alone? Why don’t some of the bleeding hearts complain that that money should be put toward kindly social causes? Wouldn’t that buy a lot of stuff?)

So, it is good that we have stopped the bleeding (hearts)- performed the necessary triage, if you will; for now, maybe, but so very much more than that will have to be done. And even in a Reidless world a lot of what needs to be done will probably not get done because it requires a whole bunch of work by the surgeon on the surgeon. And one must never bite the hand that feeds one. Soon enough they all get that point in a short amount of time so it seems to me.

(NOTE: What is the political equivalency of spaying and neutering? Answer, for free- getting elected.)

More exciting to me, and something that gives me the most hope for the future, is the continuing rise of the number of Republican governors and then the fact that they get good stuff done. This had been fairly steady (though I need to go and check on the actual stats) and it appears for good reason. The best states are those run by the Republicans while the worst are run by the Democrats. Just look at the advances in Wisconsin (gotta admit that I really like and respect Scott Walker), Louisiana, Texas, Ohio, New Jersey (well, kinda), Florida, and so on.

Heck, if even Illinois elects a Republican then maybe things are changing. (NOTE: We still have Madigan and Durbin and Chicago.)

Maybe not in Illinois though since we here seem to mostly elect pre-convicts. The bars usually wind up closing on whoever we put up down in Springfield. Part of the job description.

BUT, for the most part, I like the set up at the state levels and I trust that from that crop of good governors might grow a good candidate to run as a real candidate, someone who has actually done something, for President in 2016.

I’m a firm believer now in electing a governor, a good one, a successful one, as President. It just makes sense given the effectiveness and applicability of their resumes. What the hell do senators ever do anyhow?

If the newly-elected members of the now-majority or more-majority houses of Congress, upper and lower, can somehow get their act together and do what they were elected to do and are also given to do (or, more importantly, NOT do) by the Constitution and if we can elect a successful governor like Scott Walker to the presidency then maybe, just maybe, we all have a chance. This country might then have a chance; a good one.

Also, if the Chicago Bears just simply get even just an average defense they could run deep into the playoffs.

Here’s to wishin; here’s to hopin’; here’s to dreamin’; here’s to a helluva lot more hope and a whole different kinda change.

And, for now, just for a little while here is a heartfelt and hearty YAHOO!

Aintgonna&Dontwanna

Jibberish Personal No Comments

 

I need some more java but ain’t gonna get up to get it. Let it come out here to me.

Like to get back to sleep but ain’t gonna cuz sleep just stays away from me.

Hope that the world will be better today in a lot of different ways but it probably don’t wanna be. Why should it change just for me?

Wishin I could be a better husband and dad- I dowanna do that- but somehow just keep losing ground on that every way, every day. Dowanna but willnotta unless I can figure out a better way. What I’m doing just ain’t workin.

Shouldoughta be workin but ain’t doin that no way. Why should I change just for what?

Been down and dontwanna get up sometimes. And, lately, even if I dowanna I find that I still aintgonna. Just too easy to stay down and too damn hard to get up.

Justwanna crawl down and get into a fetalized position and let the world and the day pass on by without me in it or on it or by it or with it. Go all porcupine until the scare and the fear and the frustration just get on away from here, from me.

Get up and get out but dontwanna. Rise up and strike out but aintgonna. Ain’t got the strength and sure as hell ain’t got the support anymore. Just ain’t no one left to run with anymore. No not no more.

When I was a kid if I didntwanna I still hadda because, well, just because. Datsdat. Dat was dat. Sometimes no choices is a good way to go. You either have only one way or no way to go. The lack of choice can sure make life a lot easier.

Dontwanna and/or aintgonna is my new creed. Chossing nothing is sure a great choice. I like it and that will be the new me no matter what. Just gonna.

No choice inside of no choices. No light in the darkness. No hope in despair and no fight left down on the canvas. Just wait for the bell and get out of the ring.

Yep, that’s the new me. So if you’ll excuse me I’m justgonna cuz I kindawanna and there just ain’t no other way to go it seems to me.

Nope, not anymore.

Vote (y’all)!

Observations Political No Comments

 

It is midterm election day. I am up super early and my wife is mad at me because I can’t sleep. Somehow it is my fault that I cannot sleep. I understand though as I get upset with my kids for the very same thing. They think it’s unfair; I don’t get that option.

But I do get to vote and today is the day to do it. It’s gonna be a slightly colder and rainy day but that’s okay. I am looking forward to getting down to the polling place to cast my ballot against a bunch of useless and corrupt Illinois Democrats. I can only hope that the state will begin to turn itself around by casting out Quinn and at least giving Rauner a chance. The voters will never turn out Durbin though- he is too entrenched and just too valuable to the state machine. You see, the Chicago machine eats and feeds right along with the Cook County, Illinois State, and national demomatics so a vote agin one is a vote agin the other. You best not be black and living in the city and vote any other way than dem dem dem. Dat ain’t allowed no how (my bestest Hillary imitation dere).

On the national scene we shall see how the gov races go. Of especial interest to me is Wisconsin and Walker.

We shall also see if the dems lose more seats in the House and if they can hold the Senate. There is too much analysis out there to really draw any early conclusions so we’ll just wait to see how it goes when the returns start rolling in.

I wonder lately though if the dems would not indeed be okay with losing the Senate and even more seats in the House. Think about it a minute.

Obama has managed to do a lot with the exec order and use of the exec chair. The dems never get blamed for anything by the media though they have controlled the Senate for eight years now. That chamber has become impotent and certainly by Progressive design.

Further empower the exec and castrate the Senate. Marginalize and demonize, in the eyes of the public, the House. Let the Republicans take both houses at a time when Obama is increasingly weak and failing in the eyes of the public so that for the next two years he and they (dem dems) can legislate with the pen and the phone from the White House and, at the very same time, simply blame everything and anything that they so choose, with the full and complicit support of the media, on the Republicans. Nice, huh?

Why? Well, 2016 of course.

See, the Republicans just kept saying no and were obstructionists and Obama just couldn’t overcome it because, oh I dunno, because of the rampant racism that is this country.

And what then?

Give it to the white lady to fix.

2016.  The Coronation of Clinton.

Want to have chance to stop it? Then get out and vote and vote for what is better. Sometimes it’s just that simple.

Meanwhile, though tired, I cannot sleep. And I am in trouble for the transgression. My bad.