So here is another thought experiment, the new release plan I had mentioned a few days back. It would be a radically new release approach of the Great American Experiment so I am just dubbing it v.2 for “Version 2”.
I would like to propose that we split the country and start two new ones.
The first would be populated by the liberal Left and the second the conservative Right. The so-called moderates would be allowed to choose one or another but not both. This is exactly what happens in elections but for the following distinction- once in place one side would not be allowed to use or leverage the resources or successes of the other. Got that? It’s important to note because that is certainly not a distinction that is in place today.
Okay, with me so far? Liberals line up on the left side of the playground. Conservatives line up on the right side. The rest of you need to decide which side you will join. After that we will tally the numbers.
And the playground? Well, there isn’t a really easy way to do this but my first pass at a solution would be to give the east to the Liberals (east of the Mississippi) and the west to the Conservatives. We may need to adjust based upon the final tally percentages, the number of developed areas, the amount of natural resources and so on and the dividing line may need to therefore shift east or west, right or left, depending on such mitigating factors. Let’s just start with the Mississippi, okay by you all?
Alaska & Hawaii? This is tough but I would say give Hawaii to the Left and Alaska to the Right and then adjust the line again as needed.
The present U.S. Territories such as Puerto Rico, Guam, etc.? That can be worked out at the table I think, maybe as an outcome of the military resource negotiations. Strategic location and such.
I think then that most everything can be divided up based upon the ratios. Take the following: the national debt; any actual resources that still might exist at the Treasury; the military arsenals including nuclear weapons; military bases; the National Guard, Coast Guard, and Army Reserve; suitable and navigable ports; airports; energy sources such as nuclear/coal/solar/wind power plants (more of the solar and wind to the Left as possible); fire and police and other emergency resources (the personnel would go per individual decisions at the start but the actual non-human resources could be divvied up); military personnel (here, assuming the Right would have more personnel, the Left might wind up with more non-human assets); waterways; train track, rolling stock, stations and train lines like Amtrak; you get the idea.
The Left can pretty much have, automatically, the federal buildings; Washington D.C. (except for a few things); NYC; as many wind and solar power plants as possible; the NBA & the NFL; soccer; as many Planned Parenthood facilities as possible; controversial Mosques and other places of worship; pretty and pristine land areas with no useable natural resources but more than suitable for solar and wind farms; pretty much all the existing government agencies and sub-agencies (very unclear how many of these there are but the Right would offer to start over from scratch); a large majority of the trial lawyers; the ACLU and NAACP; the Nation of Islam and similar hate groups; NOW; NAMBLA; the National Teachers Unions and any teachers who want to stick with them; the Liberal Media by default is all theirs; and so on.
We’ll take (I will be on the Right team in case you hadn’t already figured that out) the Founding Documents (the Left doesn’t really believe in them anyhow); the old paintings of the Founding Fathers (I like those); as many key historical documents as possible- we’ll take Lincoln, the Left can have Wilson AND Franklin Roosevelt AND Lyndon Johnson for the most part; as many nuclear and coal power plants as possible; as many Christian churches as possible; the NHL and MLB; as few abortion clinics as possible; the Keystone pipeline and as many oil refineries as we can; shale deposits; as much frackable land as possible; most talk (meaning intelligent) radio; a few agencies like the DoD and Veterans Affairs- we’d start over with our own DoJ, State Department, etc.; and, here to, so on and so on.
We’d have to concede some of the awesome national monuments but we would reserve the right to reproduce these in their entirety in a new location, maybe somewhere in Utah or Nevada. Same for other man-made treasures such as certain museums and the like.
The Left may need to give up the reefer madness on the Colorado slopes but there IS skiing in Vermont.
So we would have a split in human stock- maybe 55-45 or 60-40 or something. I suppose that if a particular splinter group, based on a radically different ideology or religion or ethnic underpinning wished to carve out yet another, albeit smaller, nation, that could also be supported. All key areas, items, and assets would be split along the same lines or be negotiated where this was not possible. It could take a few months to come to agreement.
There would be a general fund in place to support the relocation of people and assets as needed but this would probably add no more than a trillion or two to the debt so no big deal. In fact, since they mostly think adding to the debt in such huge chunks is no biggie then maybe the Left could just offer to fund the move- we’ll offer up the volunteer truck drivers with the Harley folks riding along for protection. See how nice we can be?
There would be post-split arrangements, on the clock, for such things as border crossings (prior to passport issuance) and free trade and lingering commitments or contracts.
We’d also have to work out the details of the impact to our international agreements such as treaties and the like but would hopefully both be able to either continue to honor them as they exist or re-negotiate with specific countries as needed.
Moving forward after the split each side would then be free to hit the reset button and start as desired to re-form their respective new countries. Cool, huh?
Likely that we, the Right, would move back much closer to the origins as contrived in the founding days of the old United States and then go from there with the added benefit of having a couple of hundred years of practical experience to feedback into the first few years of new development. We’d know much better what to avoid and write it right into our legal structure early on.
It would be much easier for the Left. They would just simply pick up from where they left off prior to the split and then continue down that same path but with the understanding that they would no longer be able to siphon anything whatsoever off from the dastardly Right. Simple enough for them right? Certainly simple enough for us.
So let’s set it and forget it and then come back, say, every five years and see how things are going for the two new countries. Just three questions remaining then:
What should we name each new America?
Which will you join?
Which will have the most chance at not depositing itself into the trash heap of history?
Ooops, sorry. That last one should have been rhetorical.