Can’t harmonize and can’t read many notes of music but I know a good damn song when I hear one. You can bet on that.

Some fought and died. I thought and tried. And in the end, it really mattered not for they all disappeared and, after years of extreme loneliness, I just up and died. And after fifty years they still grieved.

Somewhere along the way I changed. Somewhere, somehow, I became someone that I don’t really know all that well and like maybe even less. But I still think and I still try.

Even if I am dead.

But let’s play a game and say that I am not gone, that I still remain as I always have- here and alive in some sort of condition or another and still in search of something. I guess we all are.

If I were still here what would I be doing this very minute? Oh, sure, you can say that I would be writing this but, really, how would you really know for sure? Maybe I wrote this earlier or even later and not just now. Maybe it came along at a later time after I had a chance to think some more about it all. And, then having thought, I could then try…again.

Make it up for me. Make it up to them. Make it to the other side of the river and then head on home once again.

Especially this time of year. It seems that we would all like to be heading home once again.

Wherever that may be.

Sure, they did fight and they did die and I did think and then I did try but in the end it really didn’t matter much did it? In the end they all came home and I just wasn’t there any longer. I just wasn’t home, no, not anymore.

It’s tremendous really, y’know, that whole absence of malice thing. I have no malice left any longer in either the primary or the reserve tanks but I still hold bitterness in abundance and I just simply do not know why. It was they who fought and died, not me. Definitely not me. But, still I did die didn’t I? Maybe that’s why such bitterness in living, having died.

And why? Why did it all eventually come to that; maybe I mean to this since the present, past, and future seem to be kind of mixed up in my head.

I want the best for all of you, truly. The absolute very best of all that remains. If this world holds only so much goodness and if that goodness runs out then what? When? Where? Does the evil grow until it feeds on and soon just devours itself?

And then what? Then what? What?

Tomorrow, no matter if today is even today, is not today. It is another day and I rise in silence to meet it. Well, to at least see what it has to offer.

And then I move on.

Sometimes I try to get back home but most often I just try to get along and finally read the right notes and somehow harmonize with that which plays on beside me.

Play on, play on all y’all.