I need some more java but ain’t gonna get up to get it. Let it come out here to me.

Like to get back to sleep but ain’t gonna cuz sleep just stays away from me.

Hope that the world will be better today in a lot of different ways but it probably don’t wanna be. Why should it change just for me?

Wishin I could be a better husband and dad- I dowanna do that- but somehow just keep losing ground on that every way, every day. Dowanna but willnotta unless I can figure out a better way. What I’m doing just ain’t workin.

Shouldoughta be workin but ain’t doin that no way. Why should I change just for what?

Been down and dontwanna get up sometimes. And, lately, even if I dowanna I find that I still aintgonna. Just too easy to stay down and too damn hard to get up.

Justwanna crawl down and get into a fetalized position and let the world and the day pass on by without me in it or on it or by it or with it. Go all porcupine until the scare and the fear and the frustration just get on away from here, from me.

Get up and get out but dontwanna. Rise up and strike out but aintgonna. Ain’t got the strength and sure as hell ain’t got the support anymore. Just ain’t no one left to run with anymore. No not no more.

When I was a kid if I didntwanna I still hadda because, well, just because. Datsdat. Dat was dat. Sometimes no choices is a good way to go. You either have only one way or no way to go. The lack of choice can sure make life a lot easier.

Dontwanna and/or aintgonna is my new creed. Chossing nothing is sure a great choice. I like it and that will be the new me no matter what. Just gonna.

No choice inside of no choices. No light in the darkness. No hope in despair and no fight left down on the canvas. Just wait for the bell and get out of the ring.

Yep, that’s the new me. So if you’ll excuse me I’m justgonna cuz I kindawanna and there just ain’t no other way to go it seems to me.

Nope, not anymore.