I just don’t get it. I just don’t understand why all of them are doing this. To me!

I have tried, really tried to stay way away from any conflict, to appease all them as suggested (I really was never good with that but that’s what they suggested so I went with it- not really my fault man!) but all this they’re doing is going so wrong, so much against me.

I don’t get it. What do they want? Who can I talk to who can take care of all this for me? I need to appoint someone to handle this. A new “World Peace Czar”. Or maybe it’s “Tsar”, don’t remember. But I have people and they aren’t doing it, they ain’t getting the job done. No, they ain’t, they aren’t. And it’s hurting me.

I have tried and tried. I have been generous, I have been good to them and even tried to be more like them in what I said and the things I decided to do or have done and they just keep coming. Things don’t seem to be settling down and they said it would be different. Did they lie to me?

I suppose I could try a different approach but what? I don’t want to do what them others suggest since it wouldn’t be good for the Party and it would cause problems in November. Like I care about that shit anyhow. Forget the damn October Revolution, we can’t afford a November one. I guess. They tell me that. Shit man! Why do they keep this up? I’ve stepped over the line that I drew; I extended my hand; I kept bringing down things here so that they would get it and stay over there. But they ain’t, man, they ain’t! They just keep comin’, just like those damn zombies on that TV show. We throw them bodies and they just want more. Shit man! I thought all this would make them want to join me, want to listen to me, want to like me. Be like me. Think like me. Love me. Worship me.

I know some folks are mad because Americans are dying. I can’t help it they’re dying! As if any of that’s my damn fault. Shit! Why do they have to die on me?

I tell them I just want to be left alone to do the things I need to do to get things right here- like I always planned but never bothered to mention. Ha! That comedian guy on TV was sure as shit right on- Americans are stupid! Hee-hee. But wait, no, no time for funny stuff now. I got this world thing to deal with; I got these people outside of this country who won’t get in line and do it the way I want it done. I have to find out who is responsible for not getting those assholes in line.   Why? How? Who!? Shit!! I have a plan and they need to get in with it but I need to know who dropped the frickin’ ball on this one. Who the hell did this to me?

I can’t make this a racism thing. Or can I? Shit, I don’t know. Not a rich against poor or war on women thing. Hell, those assholes are killing their own women so that’s a tough one to spin just right. Let’s see. Maybe the Christians? Hmmm.   Maybe something there. Can’t use minimum wage or the unions or the oppressed folk without jobs since they don’t seem to care about the economy or working or anything like that. Hell, I wonder what they do for work. Gotta be something when they ain’t fighting me.

I know. Maybe they just want money. Maybe we could give them some of our money or land or something- take it from someone who has it and give it to them. Probably won’t work though- it didn’t with Israel and those Jews and Palestine people. Don’t they get it? What do they want anyhow? Don’t they know what this is doing to me?

I’m getting really mad here. At them. At my people who don’t seem to know shit and are failing me.

I’m getting really, really mad. The elections are coming up and I know I’m just gonna wind up taking action on my own after that- who the hell would challenge me? Me!!?

I am getting more than really mad. They all failed me! And on top of all the things that seem to keep getting fucked up here then this stupid fucking ebola thing- gottta get a czar on that-  has to come in and really fuck things up even worse for me!

I gotta think. Get control man. I gotta take a minute. Be a man. That’s what my father would have said to me if I had a father who looked like my father. But he didn’t stick around. Still a man though. Had to leave though because it was too tough, too damn tough to stick around. Rough. Probably had a lot of folks failing him just like me. You can put them in place and listen to their words and believe what they say when they pledge their allegiance to you but you can’t rely on them when it is time to make your decisions. How am I supposed to make these decisions if there ain’t no one to rely on anymore? Gotta have someone who can make my decisions. But I gotta be careful because I don’t wanna make it all about them when it needs to be all about me.

I think that’s it though. Be a man. Let the American people, stupid as they are, know that their president is a man who can make decisions. Strong, dependable, manly. But still kinda soft and loveable when he needs to be. But now, gotta man up. Let’s see if I can remember how to get in touch with the man in me.

I know. “Hey Michelle, Valerie! Come on in here I need some decisions! Come on in here and give ‘em to me!”.

It all starts with I and ends with me.