Actually, can’t really seem to sleep much at all and sooner or later it will be then end of me.

So much on my mind and so much to worry about- some real, some real and made too much of, some just not worth it but still on my mind.

Health, work (or lack of), finances, family, the future, the country, and all things associated with those things. I fall asleep pretty quickly but then wake around 3:00 or so and cannot get back to sleep to save my soul. Ever happen to you? What did you do?

How do I come out from under all of this? How do I get my life back and how can I keep all of this crap from affecting my family? After all, isn’t that a main part of my job as a dad?

I am failing, I know that. With each waking day and each sleepless night I worry and fret and plan and then lose more ground regardless the path taken. I sure could use a good bit of guidance and some of the divine type would be most welcome. Not asking for major favors here just some indication or guidance as to what I should do on several key fronts. I am lost to a large degree.

Or am I?

Maybe I already have the answers, the solutions, locked away somewhere inside of me. Maybe I just need to relax and do the right thing whatever that may be. Maybe I will know that right thing when the situation arises. Maybe things will just work themselves out if they are allowed the space and time to do so. Who knows for sure? Not me and that’s for sure.

I am now old and getting older. Oh sure I still manage to do things and take care of things as if I were still in my early forties if I do say so myself but it will most likely not be getting easier with time. I fear there is only one path to follow, eventually at least, as far as that is concerned.

Sorry to depress you so early in the morning. No one reads any of this anyhow. I know you don’t read any of this do you? Why not? I really need someone to hear me, to lend an ear to my concerns and maybe a suggestion or two. It could be you you know.

I hope that today brings some welcome happiness to us. I hope that today might mark the beginning of when things get better for us. I hope that today will end on a good and positive note and that life and love will fill our very hearts and souls and that we will know what it is to be. Just to be. Nothing much more complicated than that.

Could it be that easy?

If it is then perhaps I might again be able to rest easy and that would be a very welcome change.